The news, even that about Blue Bloods, doesn’t need to be complicated or confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable will come out soon:

Really all you need to do is follow one simple rule: barely pay attention and jump to conclusions. So, here are some headlines today and my first thoughts:

… Good thing Tom Selleck has that reverse mortgage.

No word if they counted the votes of women and blacks.

And then billed him.

Biden continues paying off more student debt than Matt Gaetz’s Venmo account.

Be careful out there; he’s well-armed.

… No surprise some of Columbia protesters were outsiders … because that’s the only way they could ever get into an Ivy League school.

Lindsey Graham gotta be grateful he’s Trump’s lap dog and not Kristi Noem’s.

…While UK tabloids consider it a chance to play game of Invectives.

It’s like Putin is running the company.

At this point an ‘Elevator to Heaven’ might be a safer idea.

So, he was guilty of racketeering.

… That is, if you believe their profile on LinkedIn.

Or, as bears call it ‘Bon Appetit.’

… Or, as it’s also known, Von ShitzInPantz Media.

QOSHE - Ripping the Headlines Today, 5/6/24 - Paul Lander
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Ripping the Headlines Today, 5/6/24

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07.05.2024

The news, even that about Blue Bloods, doesn’t need to be complicated or confusing; that’s what any new release from Microsoft is for. And, as in the case with anything from Microsoft, to keep the news from worrying our pretty little heads over, remember something new and equally indecipherable will come out soon:

Really all you need to........

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