After a very long holiday break which might have included travel, parties, too many gifts, too much food, and a series of late nights at sleepovers, it is predictable that some children have trouble getting back into their school routine. School, compared to a very entertaining winter holiday, can feel very hard to tolerate for some kids, especially those who feel that they know what they want and don't want.
In my work, I have heard far too many times, from children of all ages, “School is worthless; I can learn what I want to learn on my own. I did learn on my own during COVID.” What's more, at home, the rules are more relaxed, food is easily available, and getting dressed in rags causes no penalties. At school, there may be mean teachers and classmates, too much homework, boring subjects, and end-of-day exhaustion.
Parents, therefore, may have to face the resistance that their child or children will have upon returning to school in the coming weeks. Some smart kids may have even figured out how to avoid school and take as much time off as they can.
In some families, there will be arguments and drama galore. In other families, passive or underhanded strategies such as not doing homework, having no clean clothes, or forgetting to write a report that is due might be used to ward off school attendance. And if you're fortunate, your son or daughter may be tired of unstructured days and want to go back to school.
Some children may seek to avoid school by asking to be homeschooled instead. Homeschooling can indeed be valuable for many students, especially those with special needs. But children who simply don't want to follow the long-established school routine do not fit into the category of needing homeschooling. The socialization that is learned at school is invaluable.
My advice for parents? Don't be pressured to make a quick decision on homeschooling. If your child is persistent, ask them to focus on finishing out the year; at that point, you can assess if they're just being resistant to following school and home rules or if homeschooling may in fact be a valuable option for them.
This advice may sound simple-minded. Some parents say to me, “Of course my child knows why they want to stay home—they want to talk on the phone, play video games, have lunch when it suits them, and wear their most offensive rags, which they refer to as clothes.” And in my experience, kids do want to stay home.
But when you ask your children about their feelings, really listen to them, and explain that other kids feel this same way, it really can help. In other words, calmly and kindly informing them that going to school involves some roadblocks that have to be navigated by all students can help them feel better about going back to school.
Here are some points to help guide this discussion:
Children may find it especially challenging to get homework done in the weeks after a break. Talk to your child's teacher and make a plan that can be used if homework does not get completed.
Do not get discouraged and give in to homework laziness—the very strong desire to not do the work. If necessary, find someone who can sit and help your child work on their homework. Often, older relatives are very, very good at dealing with resistant children.
Of course, getting your children to listen to you about any of this can be very difficult. Did you listen to your mother and father and teachers? Probably not all of the time. Here are some suggestions to help your children become good listeners—to turn on their ears.
In conclusion, you can get your child on the right track if you have a plan that works. Maybe you will have to try many different plans before you get the right one to work. But don't give up. Children who learn to follow rules they don't want to follow are the most likely to be highly successful in their relationships and careers.
Why Some Kids Don't Want to Return to School After a Break
22
0
06.01.2024
After a very long holiday break which might have included travel, parties, too many gifts, too much food, and a series of late nights at sleepovers, it is predictable that some children have trouble getting back into their school routine. School, compared to a very entertaining winter holiday, can feel very hard to tolerate for some kids, especially those who feel that they know what they want and don't want.
In my work, I have heard far too many times, from children of all ages, “School is worthless; I can learn what I want to learn on my own. I did learn on my own during COVID.” What's more, at home, the rules are more relaxed, food is easily available, and getting dressed in rags causes no penalties. At school, there may be mean teachers and classmates, too much homework, boring subjects, and end-of-day exhaustion.
Parents, therefore, may have to face the resistance that their child or children will have upon returning to school in the........
© Psychology Today
visit website
login
who are we?
contact us
qosheapp
Toi Staff
Gideon Levy
Belen Fernandez
Tarik Cyril Amar
Rami G Khouri
Dr Ramzy Baroud
Mort Laitner
Bradley Blankenship
