How do you know if you are stuck in the "Monkey Trap" of an unhappy situation? For example, you might feel trapped at work, in a relationship, or in the grip of an addiction of some kind.
I'll explain the Monkey Trap in a moment. But as for knowing if you are stuck, metaphors can help. For example, if you feel all clenched up, tight-fisted, and your insides are tied up in knots, that might give you the clue that you are snared in a trap!
The real question is this: When we are wound up tight and feel trapped, how can we let go and loosen the Gorilla Glue-like grip of whatever it is that holds us?
This is not an easy task, but research from interventions such as Mindfulness-based Relapse Prevention gives hope for escaping such traps.
For instance, studies show that self-monitoring of negative affect and cravings can help serve as a kind of interrupter that breaks the cycle of craving—and actually rewires the brain's response and behavior in the moment.
The Monkey Trap is based on a story I once read of how hunters used a unique method for capturing monkeys. A hollowed-out gourd was fixed to the ground, and tempting food was put inside. There was a hole barely large enough for the monkey’s hand to fit through and grab the morsel. Now, here's what made this an ingenious trap.
Once the monkey grasps the food with a clenched fist, its hand is too big to pull out. Yes, the monkey could get unstuck by releasing the food and yanking out its hand. However, the iron grip of attachment, greed, and desire for this food keeps the hand clenched. The monkey is trapped by nothing more than its own unwillingness to let go!
This is a powerful metaphor for our own “stuckness,” or any time we are trapped by a strongly held belief, rigid idea, or desire that keeps us frozen in place. In addition to feeling stuck, we may likely experience feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.
Fortunately, you can learn what a monkey caught in a trap does not know:
The secret to getting free from almost any unhappiness trap, addiction, or unbending belief system is simply learning to let go of it.
The Monkey Trap Meditation for letting go is excerpted from my book The Mindfulness Toolbox, which includes many other meditations and practices.
Pre-meditation questions: Everyone deals with some kind of a monkey trap in their life. The trick is to first become aware of the trap (which the monkey couldn’t do) to get free. What traps leave you feeling stuck, unhappy, anxious, depressed, or tense?
Keep in mind that any idea or strong belief—such as the perfectionistic need to get all “A’s” in school or the fear of messing up and not being liked—are traps that cause immense pain. On a sheet of paper, write down one or two of your “traps."
Next, ask yourself, “How strongly does this idea or belief hold onto me, my mind, and my emotions? You can even rate this on a 1-to-7 scale, with 1 being no hold on you, or 7 representing a “super glue” hold. Don't judge yourself. Accept that you are simply making observations and learning more about yourself—without shame or blame.
Now, let's move on to the Monkey Trap Meditation:
Find a place that is quiet and calm. Sit in a chair, taking an erect but relaxed posture.
Congratulations on learning this new approach to letting go! How did it feel to let go in this way? To what extent did this meditation change the perception of your craving or lessen how strongly you are holding onto your “Monkey Trap”?
Use this simple meditation each day, or whenever you need help you deal with feelings or beliefs that constrict you and keep you clenched up and tight.
References
Donald Altman. The Mindfulness Toolbox: 50 Practical Tips, Tools & Handouts for Anxiety, Depression, Stress & Pain. 2014.
Escape the Monkey Trap of Unhappiness
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01.04.2024
How do you know if you are stuck in the "Monkey Trap" of an unhappy situation? For example, you might feel trapped at work, in a relationship, or in the grip of an addiction of some kind.
I'll explain the Monkey Trap in a moment. But as for knowing if you are stuck, metaphors can help. For example, if you feel all clenched up, tight-fisted, and your insides are tied up in knots, that might give you the clue that you are snared in a trap!
The real question is this: When we are wound up tight and feel trapped, how can we let go and loosen the Gorilla Glue-like grip of whatever it is that holds us?
This is not an easy task, but research from interventions such as Mindfulness-based Relapse Prevention gives hope for escaping such traps.
For instance, studies show that self-monitoring of negative affect and cravings can help serve as a kind of interrupter that breaks the cycle of craving—and actually rewires the........
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