A “lack of insight” in psychology means the inability to understand you have a mental illness or that you have symptoms of mental illness. The gift of insight is a powerful one, but also an ability I had taken for granted before losing it.

My psychotic breaks took hold instantly, and when they did, my self-awareness and critical thinking were gone. I could no longer question myself or the false reality I was thrust into. I could no longer distinguish between real life and this entirely different narrative and interpretation of events and recollections that had taken siege of my mind.

Once this complete distortion took over, I was unable to understand that this fabrication was false or that I was ill. I was in so much danger and was so vulnerable because I had lost my ability to reason, and hence, I lost the ability to make appropriate choices. I couldn’t check my behavior or decisions with reason and reality to protect myself and be adequately understood by others.

“Lack of insight” is also known as anosognosia.[1] It can occur with serious mental illness where a person cannot understand that they are ill. Unfortunately, this condition is a leading reason why people with severe mental illness refuse medication and treatment. It is mostly common for those with schizophrenia, dementia, bipolar disorder, and Alzheimer’s.

Anosognosia is most common with schizophrenia, where it can affect between 50% to 98% of this population. It is important to note that anosognosia is not a choice but a medical condition in the brain. It is not a matter of escaping the present or being unable to accept or handle actual reality.[2]

As I have schizophrenia, I know what it means to experience anosognosia. I understand what it feels like to be thrust into a completely alternate reality that seems 100% real. I also recognize just how life-changing it was for me to recover from anosognosia and how important it is to hold onto it.

I am so incredibly thankful that even though I could not distinguish or question my reality when I was hospitalized multiple times for psychosis, I still mostly complied with taking my medication anyway after being released. My recovery happened through taking an anti-psychotic, where I regained an adequate amount of self-awareness, could accurately perceive reality, could be open to feedback from other people, and was able to rebuild life skills—so I could thrive independently and safely. Usually, we don’t think twice about having insight, but after losing it, I will never take it for granted again.

The best option, however, is to use this power of self-awareness and critical thinking to seek help for yourself while you still have insight—before things get worse. It is such a gift to sense you might be in trouble and then have the wisdom and fortitude to seek help and engage in activities that promote self-care before irreparable harm is done.

Self-awareness can vary, allowing you to acknowledge your illness at certain times but not others,[3] so it is vital to use insight when you have it.

It is a slippery slope, having insight in enough time to identify something is wrong and needing help before it is too late, and you lose insight altogether. It is essential to know yourself, how you feel when a psychotic break is about to happen, and identify cues that can sometimes be subtle.

It is also crucial to listen to loved ones and accept their feedback if they are concerned. Using your innate knowledge and the observations and feedback of people you trust can help ensure you receive the care you need before matters get worse.

Even though I did not utilize enough insight when I had it before my hospitalizations, I can at least use my hard-earned self-awareness now to help prevent acute illness from happening again. I have intentionally chosen a more relaxed lifestyle with less stress and external pressures, where I carefully monitor my state of mind.

It does not happen often, but if I feel unstable or out of sorts in any way, I go home immediately, lie down, and re-center myself. I call a loved one and let them know how I feel. The critical point is knowing I’m in trouble and doing something about it before it’s too late when I have already lost my insight.

As much as I’d love to run and never look back at a decade ago when I had three psychotic breaks in two years, I accept and understand that I always have to be careful and know when to put on the brakes. As much as I’d love to consider myself mental illness-free since I have made a full cognitive recovery and I’m thriving in my life in a way I could never have anticipated in my wildest dreams, I know I have to watch and be critical. I have to be discerning to avoid acute illness that could jeopardize everything I have built for myself in my life —a career, a marriage, and motherhood.

I value personal insight like a salvation and will never take it for granted again. It is our brain’s natural response to protect ourselves. Now that I have insight again, I have a second lease on life I never thought possible, and I will continue to use my self-awareness to protect and preserve this new life I have.

A version of this post first appeared on Nami.org.

References

[1] https://www.treatmentadvocacycenter.org/key-issues/anosognosia

[2] https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/22832-anosognosia

[3] https://www.nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Common-with-Mental-Illness/Anosognosia

QOSHE - How to Appreciate and Cultivate Self-Awareness After Psychosis - Sarah Merritt Ryan
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How to Appreciate and Cultivate Self-Awareness After Psychosis

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02.03.2024

A “lack of insight” in psychology means the inability to understand you have a mental illness or that you have symptoms of mental illness. The gift of insight is a powerful one, but also an ability I had taken for granted before losing it.

My psychotic breaks took hold instantly, and when they did, my self-awareness and critical thinking were gone. I could no longer question myself or the false reality I was thrust into. I could no longer distinguish between real life and this entirely different narrative and interpretation of events and recollections that had taken siege of my mind.

Once this complete distortion took over, I was unable to understand that this fabrication was false or that I was ill. I was in so much danger and was so vulnerable because I had lost my ability to reason, and hence, I lost the ability to make appropriate choices. I couldn’t check my behavior or decisions with reason and reality to protect myself and be adequately understood by others.

“Lack of insight” is also known as anosognosia.[1] It can occur with serious mental illness where a person cannot understand that they are ill. Unfortunately, this condition is a leading reason why people with severe mental illness refuse medication and treatment. It is mostly common for those with schizophrenia, dementia, bipolar disorder, and Alzheimer’s.

Anosognosia is most common........

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