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You have to hand it to Tasmania. It does a great line in nicknames. Yesterday, Australia was introduced to Craig 'Garbo' Garland, the newest independent to be elected to the Tasmanian Parliament.
Garbo is not your typical pollie by any stretch. He's a fisherman from the north-west of the state, whose wild hair, scruffy beard and salty contempt for politics mark him as a breed apart from your typical politely dressed and neatly groomed career party hack. One can't imagine him sipping grenache with blue-suited, tan-shod staffers.
But it's his moniker that had me chuckling. It reminded me of another Tasmanian from years ago, who was known to his mates as Plop. I never met Plop nor was any explanation ever offered as to how he earned his nickname, with all its onomatopoeic imputations.
I never learned how Steve came to be known as Pappy, either. Or what Booz's actual name was. Nor why Brigitta became Steggs. They were all colourful characters, fondly remembered - and all Tasmanian.
Discussing this yesterday with our man in Hobart, Ferret, I was reminded of other Tassie linguistic delights. No one knows when the rest of Australia stopped using the word "cobber" but Ferret assured me it was still used on the island.
"And I'll never forget being referred to as 'Cock' when I worked at a paper mill. 'How do you want that done, Cock?' It was disconcerting."
Ferret asked if I'd heard "Eezarumun". Translated, it means "he's a rum'un", an expression more suited to Governor Bligh's time than the 21st century.
He also revealed his wife was known as Snog while studying at the University of Tasmania.
Of course, while Tasmania punches above its weight when it comes to nicknames, the rest of Australia performs well, too.
"Windscreen" was the name given to a valuer on the NSW South Coast who never stepped out of his car when evaluating a property.
"Franger" attached itself to a well-known radio journalist whose surname was French.
Tradies have the market cornered when it comes to nicknames. One list I found included the following:
Noodles: someone who thinks every job will only take two minutes.
Wheelbarrow: only works when pushed.
Two-stroke: hard to start and always smokes.
Perth: three hours behind the rest of us.
It's a national tradition to shorten names, adding an "o" when appropriate. Hence Albo, Scomo and Birmo in federal politics.
Not Dutto, though. Peter Dutton's nickname became Spud, a moniker some think originated in the Chinese media, which curiously referred to him as "potato brother" back when he had hair.
I've always had mixed feelings about pollies using nicknames.
While the origins of Scomo are contested, Scott Morrison's hearty embrace of it back in 2015 seemed a transparent attempt to humanise himself, a daggy dad's attempt to be hip.
Likewise, Albo for Albanese, which reads as albomp on X. The contraction confers an everyman patina to someone who might have had humble origins but has been a career politician for pretty much all his working life.
But Garbo is different. He takes his nickname into politics after being on the outside all his life. There's something uniquely Australian, refreshingly Tasmanian, about a Garbo holding the balance of power.
HAVE YOUR SAY: What are some of your favourite nicknames? Should politicians be known by their real names? If so, should we make an exception for Craig 'Garbo' Garland? Email us: echidna@theechidna.com.au
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IN CASE YOU MISSED IT:
- The federal opposition has blasted Foreign Minister Penny Wong as "rewarding terrorism" and "chasing green votes" for advancing Australian support for Palestinian statehood as a way of achieving a two-state Middle East solution. However, the Prime Minister insists nothing has changed on the government's position and "every innocent life matters, whether they be Israeli or Palestinian".
- A council embroiled in Melbourne's asbestos outbreak is pleading for the Victorian government to follow NSW's lead and create a task force to tackle the growing crisis. Hobsons Bay City Council voted on Tuesday night to call on Premier Jacinta Allan to emulate NSW by setting up an asbestos task force.
- Balance-of-power Jacqui Lambie Network MPs have agreed to support Tasmania's minority Liberal government under certain conditions. The deal includes an assessment of financial modelling behind a divisive stadium and an earlier youth detention centre shutdown.
THEY SAID IT: "Titles are but nicknames, and every nickname is a title." - Thomas Paine
YOU SAID IT: They predicted all sorts of nefarious things, but all the American conspiracy theorists got was a spectacular total eclipse.
Alan from Burrill Lake writes: "Not only are they all off their minds, the more worrying concern is that they all vote for Donald Trump. He panders to their craziness with unsubstantiated claims repeated over and over again, including that he actually won the last presidential election in the US. I shudder to think what further craziness will emerge this November over there."
"In my first year of teaching some 63 years ago," writes Old Donald, "at a certain Central Coast school, some of the kids took great delight in telling me a story regarding a major sect in their area, many of whom had sailed down the local creek and out into their large ocean lake to meet Jesus, who was due to arrive on a certain Saturday afternoon tide. Of course, the first result of his arrival would be the demolition of all non-believers. Well, he didn't turn up, and as Robert Frost might have put it, they who were not the one dead turned to their affairs. So far as I know he still hasn't turned up but expectations that he will remain supreme."
Lynn writes: "Have you ever wondered about a link between heavy/long-term marijuana use and conspiracy theorists? My observations over a long time are that there is a sort of Peter Pan effect with people who have these habits, a general inability to grow up, and my personal experience with relatives with these habits seems to confirm this theory."
"Thanks for writing that column," writes Tony. "As I am not on social media I was completely unaware of all those stories. Even more reasons now for me not to join!"
Four decades in the media, working in print and television. Formerly editor of the South Coast Register and Milton Ulladulla Times. Based on the South Coast of NSW.
Four decades in the media, working in print and television. Formerly editor of the South Coast Register and Milton Ulladulla Times. Based on the South Coast of NSW.
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