"So, is 12,000 deaths a price worth paying," our host replied to a view that Israel must now see it through.
"And if 12,000 deaths is acceptable, at what number does it become unacceptable?"
Gulp.
A convivial Thanksgiving discussion had moved from noting poignantly the 60th anniversary of the assassination of John Fitzgerald Kennedy, into the minefield of the Israel-Hamas war.
Reflecting on Kennedy's soaring plans and his brutal elimination had reminded us that hope and violence have been conjoined through history, like the two rails of a train line, set never to diverge. Especially while men are running things.
The numerical retort about the level of "acceptable" Palestinian deaths might have been tricky had our American hosts not also been Jewish.
We continued to talk it out respectfully, as we still can in this country.
Between us lay the generous fare of turkey and cranberry sauce, Waldorf salad, scones, and apple-pie with cream.
I found myself musing that among all the American habits we could have adopted, Thanksgiving is the one with the greatest social merit and the least purchase here.
This quintessentially American ritual is strangely un-American in that it is small and does not proclaim itself. It is the opposite of Trump's boastful and belligerent America - the America of self-love and the end-zone dance.
Non-consumerist and secular, Thanksgiving remains joyfully residential - humble in both intent and observance. Unlike other "days" there is no gift-giving and thus no gauche retail frenzy (although the odious Black Friday sales are tied to its aftermath).
We moved on to discuss the terrible toll of the war on diaspora communities here.
In Australia, people on both sides are understandably passionate and aggrieved. Tempers run hot, enmities deepen, appalling things are said. Racism, hate-speech, and intimidation have exploded.
Our hosts told us of the anxiety in Sydney's Jewish community, the rigorous security checks at Synagogue and the grim sense of racial horrors resurfacing. Yet unlike the toadying tone of Jewish community leaders, they also lamented the carnage of Palestinian civilians, and feared the vaulting incompetence and essential untrustworthiness of Netanyahu's unlimited vengeance.
Malcolm Turnbull had rightly proclaimed Australia the most successful multicultural nation on Earth.
This success was no accident, but we had been lucky, too. Our small population and vast opportunities had needed labour and drawn it in from around the world. Before we knew it, sizeable ethnic minorities - Greek, Italian, Chinese and Indian - flourished in our cities. Their plurality becoming a defining strength, their food, cultures and perspectives, vastly enriching.
With compulsory preferential voting, the major parties soon courted these expat communities. Through the years this has only grown, their campaigning becoming more explicitly targeted at these various language groups.
Witness Anthony Albanese's feting of Narendra Modi recently. He will not be the last.
This multiplicity of cultures has always been balanced by an insistence that foreign grievances are not prosecuted on Australian soil. Central to this is a politically bipartisan commitment to peaceful co-existence here.
Which is why in the current crisis, the Australian government has been generally measured in its messaging.
The same though, cannot be said of the Opposition. As we saw with the Voice, the dividends of division have proved too tempting for the populist instincts of Peter Dutton. For him, the outbreak of war is an opportunity for further advancement.
He attacked Penny Wong for advocating restraint after the October 7 slaughter even though hers was an entirely orthodox response for a foreign minister.
"When people talk about Israel having to show restraint it's completely and utterly the wrong time for that sort of language," Dutton fumed.
But how was it different to Joe Biden imploring Israel not to become consumed with rage and thus repeat America's mistakes after September 11? Think Iraq, Afghanistan, and the loss of moral authority in extraordinary rendition, Guantanamo Bay, and Abu Ghraib.
A similar fulminating reaction came when Wong advocated "steps toward a ceasefire". Once again, she has been vindicated. Friday's cessation of hostilities to allow for prisoner exchanges and vital supplies of food, water, medicines and fuel must surely qualify as steps toward a ceasefire.
"Our aim is for this deal to end in a lasting truce," said one of the lead Qatari negotiators. A negotiated settlement to save innocent lives? Who wouldn't want that?
In his most recent book, Question 7, Australian author Richard Flanagan cites his father's firsthand observation to him once that "war is the ultimate obscenity".
Yet in politics it looms as the ultimate opportunity. When a car exploded on the bridge linking Canada and the US on Thursday morning (our time) the Opposition's home affairs spokesman capitalised immediately. "Based on the early details we have, it's a very concerning incident that I think you're rightly calling a terrorist attack," James Paterson said during an interview on Sky News at 7.40am.
Wong had just cautioned against jumping to conclusions half an hour before and by 9.53am, New York State Governor Kathy Hochul advised by ex-Twitter: "There is no indication of terrorist involvement in the incident on the Rainbow Bridge."
This is the Thanksgiving we must celebrate in Australia - our diversity, our widely shared confidence in Australia's legal, governmental and electoral institutions, and our restraint.
Fanning divisions and harvesting hatred serves another purpose entirely.
Mark Kenny is The Canberra Times' political analyst and a professor at the ANU's Australian Studies Institute. He hosts the Democracy Sausage podcast. He writes a column every Sunday.
Mark Kenny is The Canberra Times' political analyst and a professor at the ANU's Australian Studies Institute. He hosts the Democracy Sausage podcast. He writes a column every Sunday.
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