IT was late December, and the WhatsApp group that connects me to my buddies in my home town in northern England was lighting up like a Christmas tree.
Some lad from Warrington was making his debut in the World Darts Championship, and word on the app, and on our streets, was that he was good - bloody good.
One of our group, who fancies himself as an arrows man - he recently regaled us with the tale of his seven-darter playing round-the-board* - said he played in the Warrington Darts League with this young lad, the name of Luke Littler, and he was the real deal.
Odds of 66-1 were mentioned, and folk were loyally backing their man.
Reader, I was tempted. Heck, even a measly fiver would get you rich quick at those odds. Then I heard Littler was 16 years old. And I was no longer tempted.
I mean, what 16-year-old wins a world title in any sport at the first time of asking, especially in the notorious bear-pit atmosphere of the ‘Ally Pally’? For context, my own 16-year-old son spent much of Tuesday in a sugar coma on the sofa, after eating four doughnuts one after the other!
And so it was that, even before 2024 had been ushered in, I realised I was in for another year of nearly-man, hard-luck stories.
Maybe this time next year I will be a millionaire?!
Anyone who doesn’t know the name Luke Littler by now is probably living in an enclosed religious order, because this week, the 16-year-old wunderkind with a penchant for kebabs, and who could easily pass for a man twice his age, entered the realms of sporting immortality when he reached the final of the World Darts Championship.
He pocketed €200,000, and is set to earn multiples of that in future prize money and canny marketing deals. Some estimates reckon he could make €40million from playing the game he loves, and his image rights. Talk about living the teenage dream.
(In passing, I should also boast that Littler has joined the swelling ranks of famous stars from my home town: Other Warrington luminaries include DJ and Ryan Tubridy’s new BF, Chris Evans; pop star and former beau of Brian McFadden, Kerry Katona; the trendy-again singer who never gave up on his music career, Rick Astley; Ashley from Coronation Street; and the grave of ukulele legend George Formby (better leave it there, Dolan - Ed).
At this juncture, I should be furious that I never saw this prodigy from my birthplace coming, and duly failed to win a small fortune on the back of his success.
Because those people who bet our home town man from the off made sure their punt didn’t fall flat, by either cashing out for still large sums, or hedging and placing a bet on Luke’s brilliant opponent in the final, Luke Humphries.
On this matter, I will certainly be sending a stern email to my erstwhile Echo colleague, betting guru Robert O’Shea, for failing to tip me the wink on this 66-1 prospect - I mean, his column is called The Longshot, for heaven’s sake; the clue is in the name, Rob!
But far from it. Who could be anything else but delighted and thrilled to see sporting history being made by a lad who has never been alive to see Cork win a hurling All-Ireland (now, doesn’t that make you feel old?).
Of course, we had the odd sermon from the wise owl pessimists, fearing that anyone who has too much, too soon in this life is on an automatic pathway to oblivion.
Some of this begrudgery across the water was down to that strange English curse of snobbery - because darts is a proud working class sport (and, yes, it is a sport) that requires just three 23g arrows, a steady hand, a calculator brain like Carol Vorderman’s, several garish tattoos (optional) and a licensed bar (how bad?).
Darts has a wonderful gladiatorial aspect, and when you add in the raucous hordes of fancy-dress-clad fans at Alexandra Palace for the annual world title shindig, it is little wonder that it gets the sneering treatment from the class-obsessed bores of this world.
Littler has been a godsend to darts, and to sport in general, in this usually most depressing of January weeks.
More than two million tuned into Sky to see his extraordinary semi-final dismantling of a past world champion. The audience for the final of almost five million was the highest on Sky for any non-soccer match.
Sports shops across the UK have reported a huge jump in sales of darts to young people, and at Luke’s old school in Warrington, headteacher Adam McMillan said the teenager’s influence had led to a darts club being formed - and that was before his world championship run.
“Luke won the ‘Most Likely To Be Famous’ award at the school, due to his exceptional skills,” McMillan said.
Of course, where there’s a sports star, there’s a marketing gimmick. Littler’s favourite kebab shop in Warrington has named his menu of choice - a doner wrap and chips doused in mayonnaise, since you ask - after the darts ace.
“Luke’s a great customer,” said Hady Mahmood, owner of the Hot Spot takeaway. “I tell him he eats too much but he says ‘I love it’.
“We all watched the final in the pub next door, but I told him no more doners if he loses!”
I think Luke will be able to hire a chef to make his own kebabs after this week’s remarkable heroics.
* To get a seven-darter in round-the-board darts, you have to throw: Double 1, 3, double 4, 9, double 10, double 1, and bull.
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