Your brain loves stories, and it’s constantly telling you about your life. You could identify as a go-getter. Or maybe you frequently tell yourself you’re lazy. Whatever narrative is inside your head controls your actions and emotions. The trouble is when the stories are out of alignment with our goals, says Dianna Kokoszka, author of Becoming More: You Can’t Get to Better Until You Get to Different and former CEO of Keller Williams MAPS Coaching and Training.
“Our brain has limiting ways of thinking and liberating ways of thinking,” says Kokoszka. “For example, we may have the fear of moving forward because we don’t think we’re good enough. A lot of people have trained their brain to think in that direction.”
Fortunately, there are things you can do to move toward liberating versus limiting thinking. Feelings and emotions are powerless until you attach them to a meaning.
“If I’m angry, and I don’t have anything to attach that to, that means I’ll no longer be angry,” says Kokoszka. “We can put fear in the passenger side of the car and keep driving forward with faith. It’s about our thoughts. People can retrain their brain to a new story, a new way of living.”
Three types of storytellers live in your mind, says Kokoszka. One of them is devious, telling you that you’re not good enough and that things aren’t going to go your way. Another storyteller is the flatterer, who tells you you’re better than everybody else. The third type is the reasonable storyteller, who looks for reasons or excuses why things happen. None of these are equipped to help you achieve your goals.
“I want people to train their brain to become an empowering storyteller versus using the devious, flattering, or reasonable storyteller,” says Kokoszka. “One that allows you to become the very best version of yourself and allows you to help others become the best version of themselves. The reasonable storyteller tells you that problems bring on hardship. The empowering storyteller liberates you by thinking turning problems into opportunities.”
Kokoszka says our thoughts about problems determine how we achieve goals. “When we’re solving a problem, we’re still focusing on the problem,” she says. “Whereas when we figure out what we want to create and move forward to create it, the problem goes away. We’re focusing on something else, and what we focus on expands.”
The conscious mind is the goal-setter, and the unconscious mind is the goal-getter, says Kokoszka. “Those two have to be in alignment,” she says. “If I set a goal with my conscious mind and I’m fired up and passionate about it, yet the subconscious mind doesn’t know if I really deserve it, I could sabotage myself.”
Align your brain by looking at your mindset. A negative mind can’t provide a positive life, says Kokoszka. “One of the things you can do is reframe your negative thoughts by focusing on what could go right instead of what could go wrong,” she says. “Write down some of the things and focus on them.”
Another way to train and align your brain is to seek positive environments. “It’s the law of entanglement, which means that when you’re around other people, you’re going to take a portion of them with you, and they’re going to take a portion of you with them,” says Kokoszka. “So, who are you hanging out with? If you’re hanging out with negative people, start seeking more positive environments.”
Another way to rewire your brain is by tapping into your brain’s reticular activating system (RAS), which Kokoszka compares to our internal Google search engine. “When we tell our brain ‘this is very important to me,’ it wants us to look good and be right,” she says. “It starts searching for things that we say are important. If you say, ‘Everybody’s against me,’ it’s going to prove you right by making you more attuned to others’ missteps. Instead, feed your RAS with positive intentions that it can source for you.”
Reframe limiting beliefs to become liberating beliefs. For example, you may believe mistakes must be avoided or hidden and you should only speak about your successes. A liberating belief would be, “Mistakes are how I learn. The more mistakes I make, the faster I’m going to learn, because failure and success aren’t on opposite ends of the spectrum. They’re actually a two-lane highway side by side,” says Kokoszka.
By identifying the storyteller in your mind and reframing your thoughts to be positive, you can align your mind with your goals. “We can make beautiful music by allowing ourselves to believe and train our brains to go in the direction that liberates,” says Kokoszka.
How to train your brain to achieve goals more effectively
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16.11.2023
Your brain loves stories, and it’s constantly telling you about your life. You could identify as a go-getter. Or maybe you frequently tell yourself you’re lazy. Whatever narrative is inside your head controls your actions and emotions. The trouble is when the stories are out of alignment with our goals, says Dianna Kokoszka, author of Becoming More: You Can’t Get to Better Until You Get to Different and former CEO of Keller Williams MAPS Coaching and Training.
“Our brain has limiting ways of thinking and liberating ways of thinking,” says Kokoszka. “For example, we may have the fear of moving forward because we don’t think we’re good enough. A lot of people have trained their brain to think in that direction.”
Fortunately, there are things you can do to move toward liberating versus limiting thinking. Feelings and emotions are powerless until you attach them to a meaning.
“If I’m angry, and I don’t have anything to attach that to, that means I’ll no longer be angry,” says Kokoszka. “We can put fear in the passenger side of the car and keep driving forward with faith. It’s about our thoughts. People can retrain........
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