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Actually, I Can’t Wait for a Trump-Biden Rematch

This time around, we’ll remember to stock the appropriate amount of Xanax, anticipating that the election will take several days to call.

Ginny Hogan

“My greatest ambition is to keep serving this great country of ours in elected office. My second-greatest ambition is to duel the Aflac duck.”

Arrow retrieving is a young man’s game. First your back and elbows go, from the constant tugging. Then you get tinnitus, from the loud screaming.

“Well, life has a funny way of / Creeping up on you when you think / Everything’s goin’ great. / Then, boom, you fall in love with your...

I’m truly inspired by the surreal dysfunction of your Congress—but isn’t it a little over the top?