Kids may say the darndest things, but parentstweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X, the humour lives on.
Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the social media platform to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more!
My 7yo said she hurt herself, and when my 9yo asked her to describe the pain, she just yelled, "AAAAAAAHHHHH" đđ
â Lil Bit đ (@LizerReal)
April 25, 2024My 6 year old just got back from visiting our elderly neighbor and said, âI told her weâd bring her some fresh baked cookies when theyâre ready.â I informed her that we werenât baking any cookies today and she said, âOh, I guess we kinda have to now, donât we?â Diabolical.
â Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal)
April 21, 2024When your 8 year old gets in trouble at school for spelling curse words with scrabble tiles in school, itâs not appropriate to say âwell, thatâs fucking hilarious.â I know this now.
â mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo)
April 24, 2024Asked my kid how he wanted me to cut his sandwich, and he said he didn't care, but Reader, it was a trap
â meghan (@deloisivete)
April 24, 2024What position is it in soccer where my kid tries to find a four leaf clover?
â Simon Holland (@simoncholland)
April 20, 2024Lately, my 6yo has been putting on a movie, laying down on the couch, and falling asleep a few minutes into the movie.
He's already nailed being middle aged.
â Hollie Harris (@allholls)
April 25, 2024My kid said she canât wait till sheâs an adult and can eat chips for dinner, and Iâm just happy she has some goals.
â krista pacion (@kristabellerina)
April 26, 2024we were walking around our neighborhood and a car came down the street a little too fast and my 3 yr old said, âwatch it, manâ and i know i canât be too proud bc sheâs just mirroring my anger at cars but i was a little
â amil (@amil)
April 25, 2024Being a mom is humbling bc you get to see all the dopey mannerisms you didnât know you had copied by someone whoâs like 2.5 feet tall
â Kelly (@throeingit)
April 25, 2024My baby in the high chair: Get thee hence, mother. This bottle of filtered water from the ewer of Brita displeaseth me. Take it from my presence!
My baby in the bathtub: Ah, sweet nectar of the gods, tap water steeped in soapy buttock, cupped in a broken plastic Easter egg! đđ€
â Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites)
April 25, 2024Donât ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They wonât like it tomorrow.
â @itssherifield (@itssherifield)
April 25, 2024Very obsessed with how my 1.5 year old babbles nonsense while turning the pages of her board books, but when she comes to the last page and closes the book she states a very decisive AMEN
â eli đŻâš (@nienna121)
April 25, 2024What doesn't kill you wakes you up at 5 am asking for cereal and Bluey
â Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings)
April 24, 2024Nothing says due diligence like checking your kid for a fever with all 26 thermometers you own.
â My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad)
April 24, 2024My 5yo was bragging to his brother about how he does the highest flips on the trampoline. Iâm not sure where he gets his need to be better than other people, but heâs mistaken because Iâm the highest flipper.
â Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker)
April 25, 2024me: hey! you were supposed to be grounded!
7: yeah well you forgot thatâs not my fault
me: damn youâre right
7: you canât swear!!
me: umâŠletâs just call it even
â That Mom Tho (@mom_tho)
April 25, 2024My daughter is mad at me and just informed me that when she dies her last words will be âmy mom is a loserâ
â Katie D (@KatieDeal99)
April 25, 2024Nothing prepares you for that first time your 7yo asks for a Stanley cup for her birthday.
â mark (@TheCatWhisprer)
April 20, 2024Me: Donât you get sick of playing the same video game for hours on end?
Son: No.
Me: *hasnât looked up from Twitter feed in 12 years* thatâs so weird.
â Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom)
April 25, 2024Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: âCome on in.â
â I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids)
April 22, 2024Area dads want to tell you about the great idea they have for an app.
â SpacedMom (@copymama)
April 25, 2024My 7yo kept asking me to join her server in Roblox. When I finally did, she told me she was going to set me up in a house across town from hers and that we wouldnât be visiting each other much. When I asked her why, she said âI just want to do my own thing.â
â Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78)
April 25, 20246: Can I get a hotdog with a spine?
Me:
6:
Me: Do you mean a corn dog?
6: Yes.
â Benny, the Dirty Mocha (@GotJbenny)
April 26, 2024My son has a hard time waking up in the morning so he downloaded an obnoxious sounding alarm on his phone to ensure he wouldnât oversleep.
So far the only people awake from it this morning are me, my husband & our neighbors.
â Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4)
April 22, 2024Related...
- 35 Funny Tweets About Kids' Song Lyric Rewrites
- 40 Tweets About The Absurdity Of Packing School Lunches For Kids
- The Funniest Tweets From Women This Week
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