Kids may say the darndest things, but parentstweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X, the humour lives on.
Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the social media platform to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more!
13yo apparently plays Wordle, Connections, and Tiles every day on his laptop. How? Does he subscribe to the Times? He leads a whole secret old man life that I don’t know about
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault)
March 24, 2024Y’all my daughter just walked up to me kissed me and said “I love you so much, I will never forget you when you pass away”…………
Ok?.
— Envy💋 (@MoMelaninMoPrbz)
March 28, 2024No one warned me about the secret boss level of parenting in which you have to parent your own parents
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99)
March 24, 2024Do you think bread crusts are sad that kids hate them?
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield)
March 27, 2024Overheard my 12yo warn his friend that I’m embarrassing so I told her he kept saying how excited he was for their play date.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids)
March 25, 2024The battle I didn’t pick today: letting my toddler eat his lasagna with a straw
— Mommeh Dearest (@mommeh_dearest)
March 28, 20243-year-old is screaming “HELP” at the top of his lungs because I won’t let him go outside, in a blizzard, wearing just his unicorn pajamas. When I told him that might scare our neighbors, bc they’ll think something is really wrong, he started screaming “SOMETHING IS REALLY WRONG”
— 🧃you or someone you love🧃 (@hannahmsays)
March 23, 2024I have eaten all the candy, so my kids will open their Easter eggs to find Heinz ketchup packets
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness)
March 28, 20244-year-old appeared while I was washing the dishes and politely asked “Mama, would you like to sit down in a chair?” and I’ve been doing this for long enough to know that doesn’t mean she thinks I deserve a break, it means she has gotten her hands on a whoopee cushion.
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney)
March 26, 2024My 6yo announced loudly in the store, OH NO CHEESE, MY ONLY ENEMY, so I had to pretend not to know him
— meghan (@deloisivete)
March 24, 2024We're walking to the cemetery because my 9yo wants to "write down all the names of the dead people." What?!
She's brought a pen and paper.
No clue where this is going, but I'm gonna post updates.
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal)
March 24, 2024My family needs a movie where they just introduce every character and then give us 10 minutes so we can look up where we know the actors from.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland)
March 27, 20246yo: Daddy, houses cost a lot of money. Can I just take your house when I grow up?
Me: Where would mommy and I live?
6yo: Basement.
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad)
March 25, 2024My 3yo doesn’t understand “behave” is one word. “I be have. My sister be not have.”
— Mumnipotent Ruler (@MumOfTw0)
March 28, 20245yo: JESUS HAD A PURPLE CROSS
Me: Um... pretty sure it was wooden.
5yo: IT WAS PURPLE. THAT IS WHAT MY TEACHER SAID
Me: Are you sure you... (remembers to pick my battles) Cool.
— Courtney Ellis 🎈 (@courtneyellis)
March 28, 2024today my daughter enters a new phase of life as i bestow upon her the knowledge of friendship bracelet making
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho)
March 26, 2024You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework?
Vodka
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4)
March 27, 2024I would fight a tiger to protect my kids but I’ll be damned if I’m gonna fold their socks. That’s motherhood.
— DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay)
March 26, 2024I love my 3yo with all my soul. I wouldn't change a single thing about him. Well, okay, if we could wake up tomorrow morning & be done with scream-correcting my pronunciation of random words even when I DEFINITELY WASN'T SAYING CHALKY INSTEAD OF CHARLIE that would be cool I guess
— Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites)
March 26, 2024My 6-year-old woke up lamenting that he didn’t have a “vegetable tale.”
I didn’t know what he was talking about until I remembered him asking about the tails we have in utero & how I told him some babies are born with vestigial tails. Oops.
— Kiss my Fat Ash🍑 (@Tobi_Is_Fab)
March 28, 2024Told my kid it was time for a screen break and you’d think I asked for both of his kidneys
— Midge (@mxmclain)
March 28, 2024Pretty sure Rome was built faster than my kid can tie her shoelaces.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina)
March 28, 2024Related...
- The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week
- 3 Big Ways Millennial Parents Are Raising Their Children Differently
- The Most Ridiculous Things People Say To Parents Of Twins
login
who are we?
contact us
qosheapp
Toi Staff
Gideon Levy
Belen Fernandez
Tarik Cyril Amar
Rami G Khouri
Dr Ramzy Baroud
Mort Laitner
Bradley Blankenship
visit website
