The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. And although the platform has rebranded to X, their humour lives on.
Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings. Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women, and then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
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i feel my ugliest when i’m wearing the cape with wet hair at the salon.
— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin)
April 8, 2024I will never forget the time that I helped interview a man for a job opening and when he was asked what he would contribute to the team he said “probably snacks”
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99)
April 10, 2024Air and Space Museum should have a plane emergency slide you can go down just to get to experience it
— Liz Charboneau (@lizchar)
April 9, 2024every convo w my mom pic.twitter.com/uAx6JcSn67
— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp)
April 11, 2024One time I went on a date with a women's basketball coach and he told me that women's basketball is so much more about the fundamentals, and I have no idea what that means, but I say it every time I watch women's basketball with other people and all the guys nod in agreement.
— Worst Cass Scenario (@WorstCassie)
April 10, 2024I hate when I have a dream that’s really easily interpretable it’s like ok kind of heavy handed no?
— callie actually (@eggshellfriend)
April 9, 2024are you telling me this life crisis is mid
— vision bored (@visionbored2)
April 9, 2024Sorry I didn't text back! I actually saw your text .025 seconds after you sent it but I didn't want to reply immediately and seem like a total loser whose whole life is being glued to her phone so I decided to wait and then darkness took me and I strayed out of thought and time
— Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites)
April 7, 2024should i airdrop this to the pilot on my flight pic.twitter.com/KEYzMiPoPv
— Isabel Steckel (@IsabelSteckel)
April 11, 2024remember dropping your phone and the battery would just fly out
— blondii ✌︎︎ (@hardasamother)
April 8, 2024they should invent a sunny day that happens on a weekend
— Lindsey Adler (@lindseyadler)
April 9, 2024me when the group chat doesn't respond to "what are we doing this weekend" https://t.co/wwni2g7Qci
— carl marks (@lethalrejection)
April 9, 2024My car keys weren’t in their usual spot so I did what any rational person would do and dragged my kitchen trash bag out to the car to see if it would unlock instead of checking for them in my purse, which was where they were.
— Marissa 💚💛 (@michimama75)
April 10, 2024Pals I’m DYING I just met a lady at the market with a corgi and apparently she tells all the tourists that it’s one of the queens dogs because Andrew was too busy to keep them all so she’s got like a queue of tourists taking photos with her dog this is *hilarious*
— madeline odent (@oldenoughtosay)
April 10, 2024Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!”
And then show themselves scraping plates before putting them in the dishwasher.
— Bird Eckler (@Birdeckler)
April 11, 2024What brave editor will let me publish 1,500 words on why ordering ravioli at a restaurant is a scam? The sage butter is not making up for the fact that you're charging me $27 for 4 small dumplings.
— Sophie Vershbow (@svershbow)
April 10, 2024eclipse this, eclipse that — how about you watch one of the 135 clips i DMed you while you were at work
— Jill Gutowitz (@jillboard)
April 8, 2024Earlier me was very optimistic about what 1am me would want for a snack. pic.twitter.com/UQRnS0wMT0
— Emily (@dr_doddle)
April 9, 2024oh the darkness will be all consuming around 3? So a normal Monday?
— Kelly Dodd (@TheKellyDodd)
April 8, 2024let’s all go stand around together at 2pm tomorrow, too. that was fun
— sarah (@sablaah)
April 9, 2024moms were so right about so many things. a baked potato being a nice lunch. not staying out too late on a weeknight. refusing to buy lunchables. thinking video games are insanely bad for you. shout out moms, vindicated on all counts
— lauren (@Very__Regular)
April 10, 2024One of the great joys in life is having a new little show. working from home today (watching my little show). can't go out tonight i'm skint (watching my little show). yes just a quiet one this weekend (I will be watching my show)
— Róisín Lanigan (@rosielanners)
April 10, 2024huge week for queer women as everyone else is also suddenly interested in women’s basketball and the moon
— Lindsay 🦇 (@_lindsay)
April 8, 2024when ur eating soup and u finish ur bread it’s like ok. what‘s even the point anymore
— chase (@_chase_____)
April 10, 2024reverse psychology is when you make your therapist insane
— erica (@ericanextdooor)
April 11, 2024working in advertising, amirite? pic.twitter.com/QttFMOzCPI
— Kelsey Lundstrom (@kelseylundst)
April 10, 2024why are men so self conscious about their height ? there are so many more important flaws to be self conscious about, for example, the lack of emotional intelligence.
— vxz 🌸 (@vxsjmz)
April 11, 2024The “murdering your wife” era has finally ended, according to my mother pic.twitter.com/1wdMZ1lAe8
— Geeta Minocha (@geeta_minocha)
April 11, 2024one time my grandmother sent a birthday card to my old address in college and the guy living there at the time tracked me down on facebook bc he thought i’d want it. i dropped by, we had a drink and that’s how my grandmother unintentionally got me laid.
— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin)
April 9, 2024My company's solution to low morale has been to place a "good vibes only" sign in the break room. I love corporate America. The silliest geese in the pond.
— McErin☘️ (@colleen_eileen)
April 11, 2024Y'all I had a colonoscopy last week, and as I was recovering from the anesthesia I looked my nurse right in her eyes and said "thanks for all the butt stuff."
— Imogene Cancellare, PhD (@biologistimo)
April 10, 2024Dear autocorrect
I never, ever want to write
‘fucking he’ll’
Yours, etc.
— CrimeGirl © (@CrimeGirI)
April 11, 2024Updating my 2014 MacBook and you would think I am diffusing a bomb. It’s been two hours and the fan is going so hard it sounds like it’s preparing for take off
— ellory smith (@ellorysmith)
April 10, 2024Related...
- The Funniest Tweets From Women This Week
- 9 Things To Never Say To Women Over 30
- Women Share The Weirdest First DM They Ever Received On A Dating App
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