Did you know that roughly 90 women get raped in India in a day? That in a year there are over 30,000 women who get raped? Did you know that these are registered cases and the actual count is much higher? Did you know that most women don’t report rape for fear of stigma, isolation, shame or even because they are afraid for their life? And, finally, did you know I am one such survivor?
The answer to most of my questions is probably yes, yes, yes, yes, and I’m sorry this happened. Why am I telling you any of this? The reasons are two part. One: A rape case against Harvey Weinstein in New York has been overturned and kickstarted the conversation around sexual violence again. Two: I want to understand if we can bring it back to the table, look inwards before we talk about institutions that relentlessly fail us.
Weinstein’s case being overturned means there will be another trial; it means that men in positions of power will have found a way of having an upper hand.
When actor Alok Nath was accused by Vinita Nanda of rape, he and his wife filed a defamation case, demanding Rs 1 for the damage to his reputation. It spoke of his arrogance. The rape case was closed because of a lack of evidence, though several prominent women spoke up about his behaviour. When journalist Priya Ramani won the defamation case against former Union minister M J Akbar, we all celebrated. But, he still wasn’t punished. For several months, the Amber Heard and Johnny Depp trial became a public debate on who is right, and has feminism gone too far. These are women who followed due process. What happens when a case like this is overturned? It becomes another reason for women to remain silent. Some might even say that it weakens faith in the due process. But I have come to the belief that nothing matters, not when our critique of institutions yields no results. Do we need to fix our institutions? Without a shred of doubt we do. But does that begin in parliament, or on the public corridors of social media or elsewhere?
Like charity, it also begins at home. Weinstein was one big, creepy, towering shadow of a whale. But his kind of evil is pervasive. So, the question isn’t what this overturning means to the cause of justice. It is what do we, as society, owe to the victims of sexual abuse beyond solidarity on social media and angry platitudes.
There was an endless debate on the problems of “naming and shaming” as the modus operadi of the MeToo movement. We boycotted some men. Some men lost their jobs and wrote angry diatribes questioning the meaning of feminism for the urban woman. And then we got our next work assignment and we got busy.
Because, we said enough with this now, we are tired, overwhelmed, nothing will change, things are back to “normal” — no one is calling out another big name anymore. We have lost our momentum. Men will be men. There will be sexual harassment in the workplace. We will discourse over the real meaning of a sexual encounter, wanted or unwanted. We will feel the disgust, we will swallow the vomit. More women will drop out of the workforce.
But the normal will not change. Because we are used to it. More than rage over Weinstein, we need to rage over the environment that makes it okay for these things to happen. And yet, our rage needs to have the idea of restorative justice at heart. This doesn’t Weinstein doesn’t belong in jail. He does. So do Nath, and others. But they don’t speak for the problem. To return to the idea I began with, we need to bring the discussion back to the table.
MeToo or no MeToo, we need to talk about how we are talking to our boys.
How are we addressing acts of sexual aggression? Is it possible to change the face of masculinity? We have to dare to imagine that such a world is possible. Or, every day, one woman will get raped every six minutes.
Justice for these survivors ultimately lies in societal change. When that happens, we will have better institutions. Until then, the cycle of sexual violence will continue.
Indurkar is a writer, editor, and poet from Jabalpur. She is the author of It’s All in Your Head, M
Is it possible to change the face of masculinity? We have to dare to imagine that such a world is possible
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27.04.2024
Did you know that roughly 90 women get raped in India in a day? That in a year there are over 30,000 women who get raped? Did you know that these are registered cases and the actual count is much higher? Did you know that most women don’t report rape for fear of stigma, isolation, shame or even because they are afraid for their life? And, finally, did you know I am one such survivor?
The answer to most of my questions is probably yes, yes, yes, yes, and I’m sorry this happened. Why am I telling you any of this? The reasons are two part. One: A rape case against Harvey Weinstein in New York has been overturned and kickstarted the conversation around sexual violence again. Two: I want to understand if we can bring it back to the table, look inwards before we talk about institutions that relentlessly fail us.
Weinstein’s case being overturned means there will be another trial; it means that men in positions of power will have found a way of having an upper hand.
When actor Alok Nath was accused by Vinita Nanda........
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