Mother Jones; Cassidy DuHon/Rhaina Cohen

Over the past year, the question of whether or not to try and have a second child has plagued me. I constantly calculate what resources I’ll have to raise two humans, and whether similar resources will be around to care for me when I’m old. This accounting, which always induces mild panic, invariably refracts a larger agita humming within me: Why do these choices, painfully boring in their mid-30s mundanity and yet personally earth-shaking, feel so narrow?

It’s this sense of constriction that drew me to Rhaina Cohen’s, The Other Significant Others, which essentially asks us to expand. Cohen specifically proposes a reimagining of adult life in such a way wherein friendship—not romantic or sexual relationships—is at the center of adult life. What possibilities suddenly become available? Now, this is not some saccharine ode to BFF-dom. Cohen reports on several real-life examples that defy convention, each carving out a unique path that reveals radical approaches to how we show up for one another. In a country so brutally hostile to caregiving, that’s nothing short of radical.

I talked to Cohen about our culture’s misguided assumptions about relationships—and how a reconsideration could unlock far more intimate ways of living.

Safety nets and caregiving are fundamentally broken in America. Do you see other significant others, these deep relationships with people who aren’t romantic partners, as possible solutions?

Caregiving is a huge thread throughout the book and in a way, it can be a possible solution. Right now, we have a pretty limited idea of........

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