Why is it that some individuals attract partners more easily than others? This is a difficult and complicated question to answer. Certainly, not everyone is looking for a partner, but for those who are out there attempting to navigate the dating scene, there clearly are some traits that are more desirable than others across gender lines. In an ambitious attempt to define effective strategies to become a more appealing partner, Apostolou et al. (2023) surveyed 7,181 individuals across 14 different countries. The study consisted of 4,616 women, 2525 men, and 40 participants who did not specify their gender. The 14 countries included Austria, Brazil, China, Greece, Hungary, Italy, Japan, Peru, Russia, Spain, Turkey, the U.K., and Ukraine. The assumption in this study, of course, is that individuals engage in behaviors that they find attractive in others.

In an attempt to identify effective strategies to make one more appealing, each of the participants was asked to complete a survey that inquired to what extent they had used each of the 87 behaviors to attract a potential partner. They rated each behavior on a 5-point scale: 1-not at all to 5, which was very extensive. These initial behaviors were then narrowed down to 10 factors or strategies, including the following:

As you can see from the extent of the questionnaire, Apostolou et al. (2023) attempted to cover all strategies that people use in their quest to find a partner. The results were quite interesting and tended to be consistent across the world, with some differences in China. Overall, the most frequently used strategies were those in the category of enhancing looks, showing off abilities and talents, and demonstrating similarity. Females were more likely than males to engage in enhancing looks strategies. In contrast, males were more likely to use the strategies in the following two categories: increase income and social status and show off and exaggerate wealth and abilities. Future studies should look at these behaviors individually to determine if they are more likely to attract short or long-term factors and whether or not these strategies are effective over time. What works in the early phases of a connection may be more or even less important over time.