You may be with your significant other. But is he or she really with you? Or is part of your significant other still with an ex?
Dating someone who is still hung up on someone else is not fun. After all, when you started dating Ashley, you probably didn't sign up to date Ashley and Ashley's ex Ashton. The trouble is not everyone truly ends a given relationship after a break-up and instead may bring that relationship into future relationships like gum on a shoe. So it can be helpful to identify such situations as soon as possible, before you invest too much in someone who may not be that invested in you.
Here are 10 signs that your relationship may be a threesome rather than a twosome:
OK. At some point, your significant other may have to mention an ex. Talking about past relationships can help you get to know each other better and what you should and shouldn't do going forward. However, the keys are moderation and context. For example, if you are eating potato chips and your significant other says, "Oh, my ex would eat potato chips," without adding something unusual, like "Through his ear," then you may wonder whether the ex is top of that person's mind, especially if that happens often.
Even when the comparisons are favorable for you like, "You are much better at taking out the trash than my ex," this suggests that an ex is still occupying significant mind space in your significant other. You don't want to be in a situation where your significant other is constantly keeping a scorecard between you and an ex.
Of course, your ex may not be able to get rid of everything that he or she got from an ex—such as kids. But if your significant other continues to hold on to things like gifts from an ex that are readily discardable, you've got to wonder what else your significant other is holding on to as well.
If you see pictures of your significant other's ex and notice that the ex has the exact same wardrobe as your new wardrobe selected by your significant other, then you may have a problem.
Naturally, you don't want to be trash-talking or otherwise judgmental about your significant other's exes. That is not a good look for you and may suggest that you are too insecure. However, if you do find your significant other reacting disproportionately badly to innocent comments from you about his or her ex, then there may be an issue. The two of might want to have a talk.
OK. Just because your significant other went with an ex to France at some point doesn't mean that you should say, "France is now completely off limits." However, if you find your significant other wanting to regularly return to the same restaurant, the same vacation spot, or the same romantic spot that she frequented with her ex, then there may be something more on your significant other's mind than just location, location, location.
It's one thing to be diplomatic and be kind about an ex. It's another thing to make an ex out to be like some kind of deity. Your obvious next question would be, "Why aren't you still with your ex then?"
They say the opposite of love is indifference and not hate. And the opposite of a kiss is not a bite.
Yes, some may be OK with significant others maintaining friendships with exes, whereas others feel that any such friendships represent continuing emotional attachment. Ultimately, it's about you and your significant other having matching expectations about the role that exes can and should play. If you are not comfortable with your significant other's friendship with an ex, then the two of you need to have a frank discussion about what each of you can tolerate. How your significant other responds to you respectfully voicing concerns can speak volumes.
Of course, not all friendships with exes signify continued attachments. It does matter how intense the prior relationship was and the nature of the current friendship. One week of dating in high school is very different from having been married to an ex. Similarly, a friend you get lunch with occasionally is very different from a friend with benefits. If your significant other treats an ex as a confidante and regularly discusses you and your personal issues with the ex, then you may have a problem.
Maya Angelou once wrote, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” Your significant other may not use the specific words "still hung up on" but instead may say things like he or she "misses" or "often thinks about" an ex or a relationship.
Whether your significant other tells you in words or by actions that he or she is still hung up on an ex, it is not a great situation for you, one that you should rectify or consider leaving. In order for a relationship to work well, both parties need to be fully present and available to each other. Otherwise, what really should be a partnership, a twosome, can seem more like a ménage à what?
10 Signs Your Partner Is Still Hung Up on an Ex
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22.04.2024
You may be with your significant other. But is he or she really with you? Or is part of your significant other still with an ex?
Dating someone who is still hung up on someone else is not fun. After all, when you started dating Ashley, you probably didn't sign up to date Ashley and Ashley's ex Ashton. The trouble is not everyone truly ends a given relationship after a break-up and instead may bring that relationship into future relationships like gum on a shoe. So it can be helpful to identify such situations as soon as possible, before you invest too much in someone who may not be that invested in you.
Here are 10 signs that your relationship may be a threesome rather than a twosome:
OK. At some point, your significant other may have to mention an ex. Talking about past relationships can help you get to know each other better and what you should and shouldn't do going forward. However, the keys are moderation and context. For example, if you are eating potato chips and your significant other says, "Oh, my ex would eat potato chips," without adding something unusual, like "Through his ear," then you may wonder whether the ex is top of that person's mind, especially if that happens often.
Even........
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