“That’s mine.” “She took my toy.” “He keeps bothering me.” These common moments of discord are a normal occurrence in families with more than one child.
While conflict is a normal and even a healthy part of all relationships, rivalry is not. Rivalry occurs when individuals begin vying for supremacy or dominance within the same domain. Sibling rivalry arises when siblings become competitors within the family dynamic.
Sibling rivalries can be filled with animosity and long-term disconnect. This can and should be avoided. Conflict is useful for all human beings. Conflict allows humans to progress in communicating their needs and thoughts as well as listening to the needs of others. The goal should not be focused on children never having a disagreement but for children to learn to handle conflict and develop a lasting relationship in the process.
There are strategies that can minimize current struggles and help children develop the foundation for lifelong friendships.
The complexities of human beings do not start in adulthood, and parents will be better served by recognizing and celebrating that fact. Parents should approach children available to connect with who they are and help guide them into their best selves. Avoid trying to make siblings into the same person. Diversity is beautiful and it is literally the fuel of human survival and thriving.
Our world would be incredibly underserved if it were filled only with those of us who are sticklers for following rules. We may never see the levels of creativity and innovation that are often made possible by those who are more comfortable breaking the rules. While we can usually see the value of headstrong, barrier-breaking adults, we often forget that these people started out as children. Rule followers and rule breakers should both be celebrated and nurtured.
Parents, it is up to us to celebrate their differences, keeping in mind how diverse their contributions to the world will be. Decreasing sibling rivalry and building lifelong friendships between siblings begins with parents looking at each child with adoration and joy.
Once parents can see the beauty of how diverse children will likely be, they can teach their children about each other’s strengths and weaknesses. All of us have some powerful strengths and some weaknesses that can derail our peace if we are not careful. Teach children how learning from each other can make them a better person. For example, rule followers may struggle with being flexible or handling change, while more creative and rule-challenging children may thrive in new environments and struggle to focus. If they are taught to learn and value each other, they can both become much more well-rounded human beings.
How to celebrate each child’s diversity:
Before long, you will start to see them celebrate their differences and resolve conflict with more compassion over time as they follow your lead. Siblings should be friends for life. While there is no guarantee that they will be close for life, there is so much that parents can do to help build strong sibling relationships.
How to End Sibling Rivalry
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13.03.2024
“That’s mine.” “She took my toy.” “He keeps bothering me.” These common moments of discord are a normal occurrence in families with more than one child.
While conflict is a normal and even a healthy part of all relationships, rivalry is not. Rivalry occurs when individuals begin vying for supremacy or dominance within the same domain. Sibling rivalry arises when siblings become competitors within the family dynamic.
Sibling rivalries can be filled with animosity and long-term disconnect. This can and should be avoided. Conflict is useful for all human beings. Conflict allows humans to progress in communicating their needs and thoughts as well as listening to the needs of others. The goal should not be focused on children never having a disagreement........
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