“Those who do not weep, do not see.” ―Victor Hugo, Les Misérables

Before we can express our needs through language, we resort to crying to survive our infancy. As we go through life, we find other ways of getting our needs met — although crying continues to serve a critical role in regulating our emotions.

Fight, flight, or freeze responses are natural mechanisms to survive the stressors in our lives. In the face of overwhelming emotions, we might shut down or resort to secondary feelings such as anger to conceal our grief, pain, or sadness. However, without tears, we may not find the relief we need and stay angry, disempowered, stuck, or shut down. Learning how to tolerate vulnerability is crucial for mental health and allows us the courage to live the life we want and deserve.

As our egos develop and as we become more in tune with social norms, we learn that crying is viewed as a sign of weakness. In most cultures, especially men, have been discouraged from being sad and encouraged to be mad instead. Many men have been raised with the notion, boys don’t cry and have been told to toughen up.

Even though vulnerability is a necessary component of human connection and intimacy, in many societies crying is viewed as an act that needs to be done in private, like using the toilet.

The same mirror neurons that make us yawn when someone else yawns make us feel like crying when someone else is crying. Thus, crying can activate empathy and affection from others, allowing us to feel connected and cared for, but it also can trigger uncomfortable feelings in others and lead to avoidance. The influence crying has on other........

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