Research continues to show that positive and affirming relationships are central to our mental health and physical well-being. Much of our happiness and success in life depends on our ability to discern and choose trustworthy people to work with, start romantic relationships with, and befriend. For most of us, when we think back on the most enjoyable times in our lives, those memories often include people we deeply enjoyed. Likewise, when we think of some of the more painful seasons of our lives, they are often associated with people who either betrayed us or did not seek our best interests. Therefore, a new year of increased joy and peace may entail learning how to choose safe people and being able to discern which relationships you may need to discontinue or set boundaries around.

When looking for safe people, one of the key characteristics worth considering is whether or not they are wise. In a previous post, I wrote about five qualities of wise people. Whether we consider whom to work for, whom to begin a romance with, or whom to befriend, choosing wise persons to do life with will be critical to our peace and happiness. Wise people are characterized, in part, by their ability to relate well with others, seek the common good, regulate their emotions, and exhibit good character during times of crisis. Psychologists Grossmann and Dorfman have summarized five key traits of wise people who undoubtedly would be good to live, work, and play with:

It's important to remember that wise people choose their close relationships carefully. If we want to be among the wise, we must inhabit these traits ourselves. This may mean having enough humility to take ownership of our mistakes in previous relationships. It will most certainly mean not being impetuous in our decisions on whom to relate closely with. We will have to balance our own heads and hearts if we are able to have the empathy and emotional stability needed to sustain close interpersonal relationships. Fortunately, experts on wisdom agree that we can grow in all of these traits, and we can, therefore, hope to grow in wisdom in 2024.