Glen and Jenna were a couple on the brink after two decades together. They came into my office in tears, raging, interrupting, and blaming each other for their shared misery. They couldn’t talk without their negative feelings escalating.

After two tumultuous sessions, I suggested that they try writing what they wanted to say to each other – their pain in the present, their hopes for the future – and reflecting on these, maybe even showing each other their lists of feelings.

But Glen took things one step further, writing a heartfelt letter to Jenna that made all the difference in resolving their conflict. “His letter made me understand not only his point of view now, but also what Glen values about me and about our relationship,” Jenna said. “I realized that our relationship is worth all the effort we can put into it.”

Glen was not a polished writer but he put his heart into his letter to Jenna and it inspired her to write him a similar letter, sparking a new connection between them.

Why can this approach to resolving conflict work?

QOSHE - Rediscovering Love by Letter - Kathy Mccoy Ph.d
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Rediscovering Love by Letter

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25.03.2024

Glen and Jenna were a couple on the brink after two decades together. They came into my office in tears, raging, interrupting, and blaming each other for their shared misery. They couldn’t talk without their negative feelings escalating.

After two tumultuous........

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