Many Americans believe they live in the greatest country on earth. They also believe the "American way of life" is superior to other ways of living. Anyone who has traveled widely overseas knows those things probably aren't true. Just look at our underperforming schools, prison population, rates of obesity, homelessness, health care costs, drug overdoses, gun violence, and political dysfunction. The United States fares poorly on all these indicators when compared to other countries.
We can learn a lot by observing how people in other societies do things. Take parenting, for example. Last year, three bilingual researchers reported the results of an interesting study that examined the parenting practices of "exemplary" mothers in Guatemala (Gibbons et al., 2023). The researchers interviewed nine women who had been identified by school staff as outstanding mothers. The women ranged in age from 32 to 45; they each had one, two, or three children.
The nine mothers were not representative of Guatemalan mothers in general because they were better educated and wealthier than the typical mother in Guatemala. Nevertheless, their approach to parenting was consistent with dominant values in Guatemalan culture such as collectivism, familism, and religiosity.
In the interviews, the exemplary mothers said they wanted their children to treat others well. Their children should be "good to others," "kind and helpful," and "sensitive to others' suffering." This was an important socialization goal for the mothers.
Equally important was inculcating values related to personal integrity and hard work. The mothers said they wanted their children to be honest, sincere, and dutiful in addition to studying hard and achieving academically.
The exemplary mothers did not approve of permissiveness. Instead, they emphasized the importance of setting limits while, at the same time, expressing a great deal of love for their children—as one mother said, "A strict upbringing, with a great deal of love." Most of the mothers said children need love and limits to thrive. As a result, the mothers felt comfortable telling their children what clothes they could and could not wear, or restricting their children's use of the internet and watching TV.
Finally, the exemplary Guatemalan mothers emphasized the importance of relatedness and family. They said they wanted their children to be emotionally close to other family members and participate in family activities such as watching a movie or playing a game together. Going into one's room to do something alone, they said, should be discouraged or simply not allowed.
Contrast this Guatemalan approach to parenting with the typical (perhaps stereotypical?) approach used in Australia, North America, and Western Europe. Most parents in these parts of the world are relatively permissive. For the most part, they allow their children to dress as they please and actively engage with social media, especially once the child has reached middle school. Parents in the United States and Australia often emphasize values related to individualism, autonomy, and competition—values that were never endorsed by the Guatemalan mothers in their interviews.
It is not possible, of course, to say that one form of parenting is better than another. Throughout history, humans have been remarkably adept at developing cultural practices that are successful within a particular environmental niche. Nevertheless, we should recognize the possibility that people in other places may do certain things better than we do. It would be short-sighted, I think, to ignore or dismiss an approach to parenting that creates children who are honest and hard-working and, most importantly, treat others well.
References
Gibbons, J. L., Niklaus, A. B., & Serverian-Wilmeth, K. (2023). “What defines us as people is how we treat others”: Ethnotheories, socialization goals, and practices of “exemplary” Guatemalan mothers. Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, doi: 10.1177/00220221231213591.
The Practices of "Exemplary" Guatemalan Mothers
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09.01.2024
Many Americans believe they live in the greatest country on earth. They also believe the "American way of life" is superior to other ways of living. Anyone who has traveled widely overseas knows those things probably aren't true. Just look at our underperforming schools, prison population, rates of obesity, homelessness, health care costs, drug overdoses, gun violence, and political dysfunction. The United States fares poorly on all these indicators when compared to other countries.
We can learn a lot by observing how people in other societies do things. Take parenting, for example. Last year, three bilingual researchers reported the results of an interesting study that examined the parenting practices of "exemplary" mothers in Guatemala (Gibbons et al., 2023). The researchers interviewed nine women who had been identified by school staff as outstanding mothers. The women ranged in age from 32 to 45; they each had one, two, or three children.
The nine mothers were not representative of........
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