If you've been an adult for very long, there's a good chance you've experienced a condition I'll call chronic seriousness.

While this is definitely not an official diagnosis, I would still suggest that it is a serious condition. Typical symptoms I've observed include:

As these symptoms make clear, chronic seriousness is no laughing matter.

Chronic seriousness tends to have an insidious onset. It typically starts with being a responsible grown-up and taking care of all the things that are part of adulthood. But over time it can slowly morph into something more sinister. You may begin to fear that things will fall apart without your constant vigilance and worry.

Soon fun and play start to seem like unwelcome distractions from all the plate-spinning that keeps your life going. The only safe approach, you think, is to live as carefully and conscientiously as possible: Be good, follow the rules, stick to the schedule, get things done, plan for the future, eat right, stay on top of everything.

Eventually, you might realize that you've given up all of your hobbies—or the ones you still have are very serious affairs. Your friendships start to wither, too; the time that you spend with friends tends to be task-oriented, like going to the gym.

It's hard to watch a movie or relax with family without your mind continually flitting to your calendar or mental checklist of ongoing worries. If you have a religious or spiritual practice, it also takes on a serious tone. You might start to believe that taking everything very seriously is somehow the highest good.

When you're in the grip of chronic seriousness, everything feels like a Very Big Deal. Decisions can be agonizing because the possibility of making a mistake seems gravely consequential. With the stakes so high, even fun stuff stops being enjoyable.

There are no official estimates of its prevalence, but chronic seriousness may be especially common in midlife when competing demands on your time and energy can be overwhelming. Not surprisingly, this condition can lead to depression; many studies have shown that doing both fun and important activities is essential for keeping your mood in a healthy range.

If you think you might be experiencing chronic seriousness, offer yourself some compassion. You're certainly not alone in your seriousness, and it's not a sign of any shortcomings on your part. And don't despair: While the condition is chronic, it doesn't have to be permanent. These steps can be helpful in recovery.

References

Stein, A. T., Carl, E., Cuijpers, P., Karyotaki, E., & Smits, J. A. (2021). Looking beyond depression: A meta-analysis of the effect of behavioral activation on depression, anxiety, and activation. Psychological Medicine, 51, 1491-1504.