Many people with ADHD wonder if they have a "bad" memory. I think “bad” is an unhelpful way to describe memory and “uneven” would be more accurate. Adults, teens and kids with ADHD often struggle with working memory. You may process memory differently than neurotypical brains–sometimes recalling extremely specific information from ten years ago and sometimes struggling to remember what you had for dinner yesterday. Your memory can work idiosyncratically and sometimes less effectively than you might desire. It’s really important to understand that having working memory challenges, along with processing speed issues, can be a natural part of living with ADHD and other executive functioning skill challenges. So, instead of labeling your memory as "good" or "bad", let’s understand how it works and what strategies can help you strengthen your working memory and adapt to its frustrations.
Let’s look at how memory works in general. There are three types of memory:
It’s generally believed that short-term memory is super quick: it stores information briefly, just long enough to use the retained information and then quickly forget it (like a temporary verification code).
Working memory allows us to hold on to chunks of information long enough to process and take action on them. Working memory allows us to manipulate information without losing track of other tasks we’re performing. It is related to short-term memory, but it lasts slightly longer. It’s how we draw on past experiences to apply ideas and solutions to current or future situations. Without it, people wouldn’t recall things from even a few moments ago. Working memory allows us to retain someone’s name throughout a conversation or follow a set of directions.
Long-term memory involves the storage and recall of information over a long period of time (days, weeks, years). Your childhood memories, favorite songs, and faces of loved ones are all processed through and held in long-term memory.
Interestingly, working memory is linked to emotional control. Although working memory challenges affect several executive functioning skills, such as organization, sustained attention and goal-directed persistence, they are specifically connected to how we process and manage emotions. Research has found that people with stronger working memory are less reactive to events and more capable of assessing emotional situations than those with weaker working memory. When things are flagged as emotionally important, they transfer down the memory line and are converted into long-term memories. This is why emotions and working memory are so intricately related. Short-term, immediate memory for simple tasks gets processed first. Information that is more complex and demanding goes into working memory. If it’s tagged with emotional importance or special relevance, it ends in long-term memory. Then when we are faced with a situation that needs that information, our brains are wired to pull it up and apply it.
With ADHD, this retrieval process can be delayed, making it tougher to remember what has helped you before. There may also be difficulties when you try to memorize something or process multiple pieces of information at the same time. In moments when you are overwhelmed by strong feelings like fear, anger, sadness or hurt, you may not only lose sight of what you were doing but you may also act impulsively. You just can't seem to find the memory of what has helped you in the past to manage yourself or respond appropriately to others quickly enough.
Working memory hiccups may look like struggling to follow a series of instructions without a list or a reminder. You may do one or two steps, get distracted and then say, “Wait, what was I just doing? What should I do now?” Adults with ADHD often have a tough time juggling multiple pieces of information long enough to evaluate them, decide which are critical, and then make related decisions. You may lose track of your train of thought, have a tough time summarizing what happened at a meeting, or keeping up with a lively conversation. Plus, if you are overwhelmed by big feelings and stimulation in a social situation, you may say or do something impulsively without recalling what you did previously that worked.
1. Use repetition
Repetition is one of the most effective ways to improve working memory. It even helps to pair an action or movement with a word or phrase. I once had a client who needed to learn Spanish, so he created a special movement for each word to help him remember it.
If you’re learning lines for a play or memorizing a presentation, improve retention by reading and practicing right before you go to bed and first thing when you wake up. There are fewer distractions and interruptions on either side of sleep so you’ll have a better chance of remembering things.
If you are giving instructions to a child or teen with ADHD who struggles with working memory, use my rule of three:
The first time the direction gets repeated ensures that the child heard the instruction correctly. The second repetition sends the direction down the memory line, because it is held in the working memory before being restated and then it moves along to long-term memory.
2. Rely on routines
Using a routine in tandem with repetition can help improve performance as well. Creating routines is another form of repetition which can help with working memory. If you repeat the same set of tasks consistently, you will be less likely to forget one or more of those tasks or related details. This is why morning and evening routines help both adults and kids stay focused and oriented to what’s needed. Routines also build habits which decrease the need for recall as activities become automatic. Create simple routines–ones that you can remember and follow.
3. Set up reminders
Reminders in the form of checklists, alarms, notifications, Post-its, etc. tell you that something will be happening soon. It’s tough for many people with ADHD to remember when, where and what time an event is occurring. Thankfully, today we live in a world with technology. I personally struggle with time management, so I set at least two notifications for every event. My promptness has improved and I’m alerted to due dates that I might have forgotten too. There are many useful apps to record your have-to’s, set reminders, and cross things off the list when you're finished. Take advantage of these alerts to jog your memory and improve your planning. This will decrease overwhelm, improve productivity, and help you feel good about yourself too.
4. Break things down
Many folks with ADHD struggle to remember complicated tasks. The fewer things you have to remember, the more likely you’ll remember them. Break down large projects or lists into smaller parts to reduce the scope of what’s in front of you. When people work on one thing at a time, they reduce the brain fatigue that comes from multi-tasking and they maintain concentration more easily. Chunking makes it possible to get things done and stick with things. Your follow-through will improve too.
When you live with ADHD working memory challenges, focus on equipping yourself with effective tools and strategies. Reframe your “bad” memory into “uneven” memory to lower self-criticism and increase self-acceptance. Instead of apologizing or judging yourself, normalize forgetfulness as something that happens to everybody and apply these tools to strengthen your ability to remember things. When talking with others, describe working memory to others as the search engine of the brain and explain how people with ADHD naturally struggle with this due to lower levels of dopamine and norepinephrine. Lastly, be playful: create fun acronyms or zany associations to jog the memory circuitry.
References
Gyurak A, Goodkind MS, Kramer JH, Miller BL, Levenson RW. Executive functions and the down-regulation and up-regulation of emotion. Cognition & Emotion. 2012;26(1):103–118. doi: 10.1080/02699931.2011.557291.
Schmeichel BJ, Volokhov RN, Demaree HA. Working memory capacity and the self-regulation of emotional expression and experience. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 2008;95(6):1526–1540. doi: 10.1037/a0013345.
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