Having a bad day is a universal occurrence and can affect those ranging from children to the elderly. The identification of a “bad day” is subjective and may be related to one’s resilience to negative events. Generally, people do not intentionally want to have a bad day; however, there are some who purposely seek or anticipate bad experiences. That is, sometimes the person will intentionally behave in a way to instigate trouble for themselves, such as purposely overeating high-caloric and high-cholesterol foods when on a diet, or choosing to start a fight with one’s spouse just before going to bed. These actions may be related to the person having emotional problems that are not being adequately addressed.
Bad experiences may occur unexpectedly, such as being broad-sided by a driver who runs a red light. Other bad experiences may not be unexpected, such as performing poorly on an exam when you haven’t studied the material.
Because we can only realistically anticipate that which is “likely to occur,” being vigilant for any possible negative repercussion is impossible. However, there are people who try to meet that degree of preparedness. In most cases, these individuals are compulsive and easily stressed. Their worry may be so great that they go through several actions to assure themselves that they have done all that they can to avoid their perceived “possible bad consequences.” Dysfunction can occur when the worry and “protective actions” become overwhelming and/or impossible to achieve.
Worry is a universal emotion that people experience in degrees. Some issues prompting worry are realistic whereas others are far-fetched and unlikely to happen. For those with realistic worries, the concept of “benefit finding” can be effective in reducing stress. Rankin and Sweeny (2021) discuss how looking for benefits that may arise from the problematic issue, even before the “bad news arrives,” can be useful. They write that, “Preemptive benefit finding boosts emotional well-being while waiting, buffers the blow of bad news, and does not consistently undermine joy in response to good news.”
Another factor contributing to problematic outcomes is using “justification.” (Who hasn’t engaged in such behavior?) For example, “I had a terrible day at work, and when I get home, I’m going to treat myself by cheating a little on my diet and have cocktails and dinner at a fancy restaurant.” Using an excuse to “repair oneself” or believing that one is deserving of a currently banned reward is common as well as potentially problematic.
An accompanying factor in “justification behavior” is issues related to self-control (Heiland & Veilleax, 2022). Understandably, people prefer feeling pleasure over feeling bad; therefore, giving in to temptation is not unusual. Moreover, it’s been found that if a person believes their mood will not improve if they give in to temptation, they won’t do it (Bushman et al., 2001; Tice et al., 2001). Nevertheless, such behavior can have serious physical and psychological repercussions and eventually turn out to be “not so pleasant.”
Researchers have found that “self-complexity” can help people adjust to negative events (Perry et al., 2020). That is, when a person has many social roles “(e.g., friend, athlete, artist, teacher)," they are more emotionally resilient than individuals with few roles. Part of the reasoning is that the more social complexity one has, the more likely one can better adjust to negative events and exhibit better emotional regulation. One explanation for this is that a person with social complexity can obtain social support from several people in their realm of social connections. Also, maintaining these connections often requires an ability to be more cognitively flexible and, thus, better able to respond to stress and disappointment.
With respect to relationships and conflicts, those who have close and interdependent associations with certain people may be less inclined to maintain negative interpersonal issues. The motivation may be “the desire to avoid conflict and retain harmonious relationships” (Naqvi & Helgeson, 2021).
Jacob Adashek wrote an article about his personal medical experience of having GVHD (graft-vs-host disease) after he had a bone marrow transplant as a teenager (Adashek, 2016). As a result of the medication he is taking, his immune system now overreacts, leading to a number of symptoms, including inflammation and fibrosis. He has painful cramping of his fingers and the inability to raise his arms above his head. He also has changes in taste, numbness, tingling, feeling pins and needles, and muscle aches and pain. Despite these issues, Jacob pursued a medical career where he encountered patients with chronic illnesses and overwhelming disabilities. The hardships among such patients as well as his own medical history and condition have inspired him to set a goal to “motivate them to be positive and enlighten them so that they might see that gratitude can lessen their load as it has mine. I have discovered that one’s attitude is a key element to living successfully with or without a chronic illness." Moreover, seeing the impact that his ability to excel has had on others helps remind him to “celebrate a bad day.”
Life is full of twists and turns. There are days that can give us grief as well as days that can give us joy. Both are necessary for an authentic life. Having a bad day is not an emotion to ignore; rather, it can be viewed as a reality check of life. We may not be able to always control what happens to us, but we can assume control over how we respond. The reality is that fully appreciating joy can come from having experienced pain.
References
Adashek, Jacob. (2016). Celebrate a bad day. Journal of the American Medical Association Oncology, 2(3), 299. doi:10.1001/jamaoncol.2015.5802
Bushman, B. J., Baumeister, R. F., & Phillips, C. M. (2001). Do people aggress to improve their mood? Catharsis beliefs affect regulation opportunity and aggressive responding. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 81(1), 17–32. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.81.1.17
Heiland, A. M. & Veilleux, J. C. (2022) Because you had a bad day: the role of negative affect and justification in self-control failure, Cognition and Emotion, 36(5), 912–927. https://doi.org/10.1080/02699931.2022.2067134
Naqvi, J. B. & Helgeson, V. S. (2021). Harmonious relations: Relational interdependence moderates affective reactivity to interpersonal stressors. Social Psychological and Personality Science,13(2), 638–644. https://doi.org/10.1177/19485506211028538
Perry, L. M., Hoerger, M., Korotkin, B. D., Saks, S. J., & Duberstein, P. R. (2020). Self-complexity and socio-emotional adjustment to a romantic event in early adulthood. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 37(4) 1268–1281. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407519893473
Rankin, K., & Sweeny, K. (2022). Preparing silver linings for a cloudy day: The consequences of preemptive benefit finding. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 48(8), 1255–1268. https://doi.org/10.1177/01461672211037863
Tice, D. M., Bratslavsky, E., & Baumeister, R. F. (2001). Emotional distress regulation takes precedence over impulse control: If you feel bad, do it! Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 80(1), 53–67. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.80.1.53
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