Gottman Method Couples Therapy, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy, Relational Life Therapy, Intimacy From the Inside Out Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Couples Therapy, Imago Relationship Therapy, Psychodynamic Couples Therapy...

The list goes on and on. It can be challenging to choose a method of couples therapy when there are so many to pick from. Each method has its own theory of change, goals, interventions, and training programs and, in several cases, its own body of research backing up its efficacy for improving relationships.

What may surprise you is that many of these methods have a lot in common. In fact, Sprenkle, Davis, and Lebow reviewed the research on relationship therapy methods and discovered that there were common factors that, across modalities, explained what works in couples therapy to improve relationships (what we call "mechanisms of change"). Their comprehensive research outlines three of the change agents in couples therapy, across couples therapy methods:

In couples therapy, partners begin to team up against the negative interaction pattern in which they are caught, instead of fighting each other. Across couples therapy modalities, difficulties are conceptualized in relational terms. This means that rather than focusing on any one person in the relationship, clients begin to understand that the problem is a dynamic, a pattern that neither partner likes or wants.

Of course, this will be different in cases of physical or emotional abuse, when one client will be held fully accountable for the abuse and the victim will not be blamed. Couples therapy is contraindicated in instances of abuse, and, instead, clients are referred to a treatment program to build skills and tools for anger management (for the perpetrator) or to build self-safety (for the victim).

Every couples therapy modality will help you identify and disrupt negative interaction cycles. You will learn what you do to contribute to the dynamic, and your partner will be challenged to do the same. In this way, you will start to understand how to change your behavior to help improve the pattern rather than exacerbate it.

In addition to behavior, your cognitions will be challenged and likely changed. When you learn to understand your partner better, you will start to interpret their actions differently (and vice versa). In turn, you will start to feel differently both about yourself and your partner. Although couples therapy modalities will vary in whether they seek to target behavior, thoughts, or emotions, all of these methods will impact each layer of experience due to their interrelated nature.

For example, in Behavioral Couples Therapy, clients may be instructed to do one generous thing for their partner each week, which shifts thoughts and emotions about one's partner. In Cognitive Behavioral Couples Therapy, clients might be instructed to challenge negative automatic thoughts they have about their partner (e.g., "He is so selfish!") by seeking out evidence to the contrary, which also has a powerful influence on one's emotions and, thus, behavior toward their partner. In Emotion-Focused Therapy, clients will feel their vulnerable emotions in the room and share them to create positive experiences that profoundly affect the security of the relationship and, thus, thoughts and behavior.

In most methods of couples therapy, clients shift among talking directly to the therapist, listening to their partner speak to the therapist, and turning directly to each other. Each of these positions is important in its own way.

Talking to the therapist gives a voice to feelings that the relationship may not otherwise have space for, to slow things down so that new feelings can be accessed and expressed. Clients dive deeper into their own inner experience to understand more about their underlying feelings and needs that are driving negative patterns. Clients are often surprised by what we are able to uncover together when there is more space given to their own experience.

When clients are in the witnessing role, they develop greater understanding for their partner and what they are going through, building empathy and compassion that is usually blocked by the negative interaction cycle that makes arguments move so quickly. Clients end up missing each other in the negative cycle, but when things are slowed down, they are able to hear their partner rather than jump to defensiveness. This allows clients to understand their partners in deeper and more authentic ways.

Clients are then able to take insights about themselves and this enhanced compassion for their partner and express it directly to their partner, creating change events that form a safer and more secure bond.

Couples therapy is a journey. Throughout the process, you will gain insight into yourself and your partner. Your thoughts will change, along with your feelings and behavior, in powerful ways. While we couples therapists tend to have our favorite methods (myself included), it's vital to recognize that trust between you and your therapist is important. Knowing that your therapist is able to help guide you through the process of identifying your negative interactional cycle, teaming up against it, and building greater empathy and understanding of each other is of utmost importance as you begin your journey to a happier relationship.

QOSHE - Why Does Couples Therapy Work? - Tasha Seiter Ms
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Why Does Couples Therapy Work?

17 1
01.04.2024

Gottman Method Couples Therapy, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy, Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy, Relational Life Therapy, Intimacy From the Inside Out Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Couples Therapy, Imago Relationship Therapy, Psychodynamic Couples Therapy...

The list goes on and on. It can be challenging to choose a method of couples therapy when there are so many to pick from. Each method has its own theory of change, goals, interventions, and training programs and, in several cases, its own body of research backing up its efficacy for improving relationships.

What may surprise you is that many of these methods have a lot in common. In fact, Sprenkle, Davis, and Lebow reviewed the research on relationship therapy methods and discovered that there were common factors that, across modalities, explained what works in couples therapy to improve relationships (what we call "mechanisms of change"). Their comprehensive research outlines three of the change agents in couples therapy, across couples therapy methods:

In couples therapy, partners begin to team up against the negative interaction pattern in which they are caught, instead of fighting each other. Across couples therapy modalities, difficulties are conceptualized in relational terms. This means that rather than focusing on........

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