A little while ago, I saw a headline that caught my attention. The words I was struck by were “silencing your inner critic.” I can’t remember the exact source now, but a quick Google search reveals that this is a popular topic. I'm assuming what I had spotted was the title of an article that contained some information about what the author had found helpful in creating a harmonious state of mind. The article might have offered a list of suggestions. I don’t know. I didn’t read any further.
I became intrigued by the idea of an “inner critic.” Does everyone have one? Is it always there?
In just a thought or two along the wondering path I was heading down, it occurred to me that I must be my own inner critic. I guess it’s pretty obvious when you think about it. I mean, who else could it be right? But in that moment, I was intrigued by the idea of me being the critic of me.
I can understand the dynamic of one person criticizing another. I don’t necessarily like it as a tactic, but it’s not uncommon for one person to object to something another person is doing and criticize them for doing it.
So, what’s going on when the criticism comes from inside? Does that mean that an individual is doing something and, at the same time, criticizing themselves for doing it?
Assuming they don’t have a gun pointed at their head or are being coerced in some other nasty way, whatever they are doing must be something they want to be doing. But if they’re criticizing themselves, they must also not want to be doing it at the same time.
Perhaps they are sitting quietly in the meeting while other people take credit for their work. The longer the meeting goes and the more the accolades land in the wrong place, the greater the person’s annoyance at their own meekness. “Why are you letting them do this to you again? It’s no wonder you didn’t get that promotion.”
If the person isn’t speaking up, it must be because, for some reason, they want to keep quiet. Maybe they don’t want to disrupt the meeting. Maybe they don’t want their colleagues to think they are a pushy self-promoter. I’m not sure what the reason might be, but there must be one.
By the same logic, there also must be a reason for the haranguing they are giving themselves. Perhaps they want the world to be fair and just. They might secretly like the idea of being bolder and more confident. Again, it’s not clear at all what the reason is, but there must be one.
There is always a reason.
There are reasons for reasons. Often, the first reason you encounter might not be the key, but if you keep exploring, you’ll find the one that makes it all make sense. Following a reason trail can be illuminating, surprising, and even fun.
Let’s say I step on the bathroom scales, and I discover I’m still not at my goal weight. I could wonder why I even bother stepping on the scales. The reason is simple. I want to know when I’ve achieved my goal. So, what’s the reason for having a target weight? Well, at that weight, I look fit and trim. What’s the reason for looking fit and trim? If I look fit and trim, I’ll feel more confident in social situations. The reason I want to be more confident socially is because then I’ll be relaxed around others. The reason for aiming to be relaxed around others is because then I’ll feel like I’m a success. And what’s the reason for being a success? It feels good. That’s just how I like things to be.
But even as I’m peeling back these layers of reasons, my belligerent critic within is already winding himself up. “Well, of course you’re not going to be your ideal weight. What do you expect when you added the creamy garlic shrimp to your New York strip steak?”
Hmmm. He’s got a point. What was the reason for adding the shrimp? Well, the steak on that big plate on its own looked so miserly. I mean, is that it? Is that all I’m getting? I want a dinner plate that looks like a feast. What’s the reason for wanting a piled-up dinner plate? Well, that means I’m a good provider. So, what’s the reason for being a good provider? Being a good provider means I’m successful.
Ker-ching!
It turns out that getting to my goal weight and eating what I want comes from the same source. How ironic is it that the prize skulking around way back there in the recesses of my mind is about being successful and yet I’m not succeeding with the goals at the front of my mind?
Anyone, at any time, can explore their own reasoning trails. It just requires thinking about why what’s important to you is important. And why that importance is important. And so on, until you’ve reached the end. There’s always an end.
Your inner critic is you. You berate yourself for a reason. Finding the reason will help you make sense of the harassment you’re firing at yourself. There might even be a lesson that will help you be the person you most want to be more of the time.
Your Inner Critic Is You
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07.02.2024
A little while ago, I saw a headline that caught my attention. The words I was struck by were “silencing your inner critic.” I can’t remember the exact source now, but a quick Google search reveals that this is a popular topic. I'm assuming what I had spotted was the title of an article that contained some information about what the author had found helpful in creating a harmonious state of mind. The article might have offered a list of suggestions. I don’t know. I didn’t read any further.
I became intrigued by the idea of an “inner critic.” Does everyone have one? Is it always there?
In just a thought or two along the wondering path I was heading down, it occurred to me that I must be my own inner critic. I guess it’s pretty obvious when you think about it. I mean, who else could it be right? But in that moment, I was intrigued by the idea of me being the critic of me.
I can understand the dynamic of one person criticizing another. I don’t necessarily like it as a tactic, but it’s not uncommon for one person to object to something another person is doing and criticize them for doing it.
So, what’s going on when the criticism comes from inside? Does that mean that an individual is........
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