.
An AI bot named Steve Garvey wandered onto the second U.S. Senate debate set Monday, and he gave the words “artificial” and “intelligence” a bad name.
How Garvey managed to convince a single Californian that he’s a potential U.S. Senator is astonishing. His generic responses to virtually every question just sucked the air of the studio, where three other actual potential senators were competing for votes.
Garvey’s dullardly evasions, particularly about whether or not he would vote for former President Donald Trump, are insulting.
“I answer to God, my wife, my family and the people of California,” Garvey said.
Advertisement
Article continues below this ad
Well, that’s a lie. He hasn’t answered to his two daughters he won’t acknowledge, for example.
Garvey’s Potemkin Village of a candidacy just took away valuable time from the others, so virtually no one was able to fully answer any of the questions.
Some television producer at KRON, God bless them, decided that having a 90-decibel bell that clanged every 60 seconds or so was a fine idea. The clatter was highly reminiscent of some 1950s TV boxing matches instead of an exchange of ideas.
Ideas? In the bang bang 60-second world of this quasi-game show format, there were hardly any, but Reps. Barbara Lee, Katie Porter and Adam Schiff managed to squeeze in hyperspeed responses that were almost invariably cut off by the bell.
No one was saved by it, except for the drivel-spewing Garvey, who probably is unable to expound beyond 60 seconds on anything other than the infield fly rule.
Advertisement
Article continues below this ad
For example, Garvey responded to an immigration question by saying President Joe Biden “should be the one to step up and close the border.” Heads up, Steve: He can’t because your GOP buds in Congress have stalled comprehensive immigration reform because their One Day Dictator, Trump, wants to run on that issue this fall.
This debate felt like a virtual reality replay of the first debate at USC; you’d never know you weren’t watching the same event. Unhelpfully, Schiff and Garvey even wore the exact suits and ties. Helpfully, Lee and Porter changed clothing colors so we could, at least, know it was a different event.
Let’s recap. Schiff: Trump is dangerous. Porter: Corporations are bad. Lee: I’m prepared. Garvey: Dial tone.
Observers thought that perhaps this debate would show a little more fire than the first and that it would truly shed some light on the differences among the three serious people in the race.
Porter didn’t say that she was younger — it’s obvious — but bobbled the question badly when asked if she thought there should be an age test for elected officials. She asserted that Schiff had supported age limits for the Supreme Court, but declined to do so for Congress.
Advertisement
Article continues below this ad
This brought the two Harvard Law grads into direct confrontation, and Schiff managed to land on her like Professor Kingsfield from the film “The Paper Chase,” when he tartly noted that wasn’t remotely what he did.
He seemed to want to say the classic line from that movie: “Ms. Porter, here is a dime. Go call your mother and tell her you’re not going to be a United States Senator.”
Oddly, Porter mostly wasn’t heard from very much, mostly because Garvey kept carving off time from her and the others. Imagine, a muted Katie Porter.
When she was heard, the former UC Berkeley and UC Irvine law professor blasted through her syllabus as fast as humanly possible, and, frankly, she probably was the best at getting her message out just under the Big Ben KRON bell.
Charming moments? Maybe when Schiff again invoked his 96-year-old dad, “Boca Eddie.” Listen: All sensible Californians want to see Boca Eddie. Put him in a commercial, and if 63-year-old triathlete Schiff lives as long as his father, that could mean he can do five terms and change.
Advertisement
Article continues below this ad
Heck, write in Boca Eddie for the short seat.
Since the candidates only had enough time it takes to run the 40-yard dash to solve homelessness, one of the hosts asked each candidate what their favorite movies and last-read books were.
Lee: “Beloved.” Garvey: “The Natural.” Schiff: “The Big Lebowski.”
Porter? “Star Wars.” This was the least surprising moment of the campaign.
Since these were short responses, they did have enough time to respond without the “Gong Show” sound effects. We have to prove definitively that Garvey has read anything other than signs from the third base coach.
Advertisement
Article continues below this ad
The people of California are really rather poorly served by a top-two system. Shouldn’t Garvey have to debate another GOP candidate, such as Eric Early? At least Early can string a sentence together, even if the words “socialist” and “woke” will make frequent appearances.
Sorry for one final baseball riff, but that would be a batting practice session Garvey might not enjoy, but it would be better for a meaningful debate.
Jack Ohman is a Pulitzer Prize-winning cartoonist and columnist.
login
who are we?
contact us
qosheapp
Toi Staff
Gideon Levy
Belen Fernandez
Rami G Khouri
Donald Low
Mort Laitner
Ali Fathollah-Nejad
Nikkei Editorial
Michael Kwet
visit website
