Former Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura and New York Jets quarterback Aaron Rodgers are on Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s shortlist for running mates.
Self-nominated presidential narcissist/crank Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is auditioning for a vice presidential running mate and, surprise, the top two names are narcissistic cranks.
Democracy is beautiful.
The two are former Minnesota Gov. Jesse Ventura and, gulp, New York Jets quarterback Aaron Rodgers.
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Kennedy will make this announcement in Oakland on March 26.
Oh, boy. Maybe Kennedy can save the A’s, too. A’s owner John Fisher might be a candidate at this point. He can’t do anything worse for his public persona anyway. Why not run with Kennedy?
First, let’s look at Ventura. When he was elected governor in 1998, many Minnesotans were absolutely horrified. As the nominee of the Ross Perot-inspired Reform Party, Ventura defeated former Vice President Hubert Humphrey’s son, then-Democratic Attorney General Skip Humphrey, and former GOP Sen. Norm Coleman.
To me, Ventura was the real canary in the coal mine for Trumpism. He preceded the election of former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger by five years, and there was no constitutional bar (Schwarzenegger was not born in the U.S.) to stop him from eventually running for president of the United States. I feared it enormously and so did a lot of people.
Let me add a small caveat: Ventura had been an effective mayor of the sixth largest city in Minnesota, Brooklyn Park. He didn’t just fall out of the wrestling ring.
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Once Ventura was inaugurated, he selected some solid people to help him govern the state. I’m not saying he was a fantastic governor — he wasn’t — but he performed surprisingly well until he reminded everyone he was, in fact, a narcissist.
Ventura was oddly kind of likable. He’s also quite articulate, has a knack for distilling political ideas and managed not to be personally insulting. He also was a Navy demolition team diver in Vietnam, and thank you for your service. That’s tough stuff.
However, Ventura became the self-serving WWF/WWE operator that he was, and voters tired of him. After leaving office, he spun off into political La La Land, hosting shows on RT (Russia Today), and he also became a professional conspiracy theorist. His national profile is pretty low now. He’s 72.
Gee, why is Kennedy looking at him? Oh, yes. Never mind. Kennedy is a 70-something professional conspiracy theorist.
To say RFK Jr. squandered his family potential is an understatement; he’s more Kardashian than Kennedy now. Kennedy really is starring in a reality show in his head, and he’s making us watch it whether we want to or not.
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Now, the upside of Ventura is that he at least has held several elective offices, unlike his potential running mate. But let’s turn our tender mercies to the catastrophically unqualified Rodgers.
Rodgers is now more famous for being an anti-vaccine screwball and professional Joe Rogan guest than he is a QB. Hell, pick Joe Rogan, Bobby, if we’re in this lane. Maybe Alex Jones is available.
Rodgers also was a finalist for the host of “Jeopardy!” so he is vastly smarter than, say, John McCain’s running mate, former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, who couldn’t probably get through “Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?” Even beleaguered former Vice President Dan Quayle may be interested if Kennedy is. Quayle is still a kicky 70-something.
Of course, Rodgers went to UC Berkeley, so that’s a plus here. But Cal has 15,000 people on campus more qualified than he is to be vice president. Rodgers also went on a “darkness retreat,” which is a few days without your phone in a dark room where you get to ponder your existence. Recently, Rodgers has been on a psychedelic drug retreat in Costa Rica.
Maybe that explains all of this.
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The absurdity of Kennedy’s veep search isn’t confined to Ventura and Rodgers. Kennedy also reached out to people like Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul, former Rep. Tulsi Gabbard, and high-tech entrepreneur Andrew Yang, the former Democratic presidential candidate. Yang seems sane enough, but the others would be right up Kennedy’s kook alley.
To people like Kennedy and Trump, politics isn’t about governance, really. They’re in their own selfie bubble, and celebrity equals qualifications. Back in the day, we had presidents like Dwight Eisenhower (won World War II, but hey) and people who had served for decades in public elected life. Now it’s just another way to get in the news and look where we are with that.
Kennedy can pick some marginal quasi-celeb, and call it good. He’s going to lose, and God save us if he swings the presidency to our authoritarian former “Celebrity Apprentice” host.
Presidential candidates used to pick vice presidents to create a geographically balanced ticket, with an eye (it is to be hoped) that the vice presidential candidate could serve as president of the United States.
That’s so 20th century.
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Kennedy will present a mentally imbalanced ticket.
President Aaron Rodgers? President Jesse Ventura? This is from the nephew of a truly inspiring president and the son of a distinguished U.S. Attorney General and U.S. Senator.
The only vice president a Kennedy got to pick was former President Lyndon Johnson, who was arguably the most effective Senate leader ever.
LBJ didn’t care much for RFK Jr.’s father, and vice versa, but I can tell you what Johnson would say about the son’s political acumen.
In the words of fellow Texan Hank Hill about his own son, Bobby, “That boy ain’t right.”
Jack Ohman is a Pulitzer Prize-winning cartoonist and columnist.
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