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H​​ere at Slate we like to keep tabs on politicians’ unexpected beard growth, if only to attempt to divine what might be going on in the heads of these famous men. So we must report that a new beard has been spotted, this time on erstwhile Trump White House employee (and Trump family member) Jared Kushner.

This beard, which was first featured in his wife Ivanka Trump’s Instagram in mid-January, was subtle at first. But a Jan. 22 Instagram post that appeared to show it at a later and potentially maxed-out stage of growth caught our attention for being—well, take a look:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Ivanka Trump (@ivankatrump)

There’s something troubling about this beard, aesthetically. It’s patchy. It’s unshaped. Some here at Slate believe the beard makes Kushner look younger, presumably because the wispy quality of the facial hair only emphasizes how unnervingly youthful the 43-year-old Kushner’s face is. (Plus, it doesn’t hide his dimples.) Some think it makes him look older, presumably because it obscures the youthful crispness of his jawline, and because the blond patches could be mistaken for gray. The gut instinct of many upon first viewing, if social media is any indication, was to react with schoolyard mockery. I get it: It’s not a good beard! But I think there are two important things to remember here.

First: Not to be too much of a scold, but if you fire off your joke on social media without thinking, you run the risk of buying into the same toxic ideas about masculinity that the Trump family promotes. Yes, there’s a long tradition of teasing boys for trying to grow beards beyond their pubescent abilities. Joking about age—and pretending to be more mature than you are—is safe, classic comedy terrain. But Kushner is an adult! When we start to get to the real-adult-men-have-full-thick-beards territory, we’re creeping toward the manosphere that promotes warfare-branded testosterone supplements and thinks “real” men lift weights, hunt, seduce women (and only women), eschew the arts, and bury their feelings—or else deserve to be pitied as pathetically effete. Yes, I agree, a good strong beard is attractive. But if you think about it for a second, you’ll realize that beyond their service as contouring for weak chins, beards mostly serve to symbolize “traditional” rugged masculinity. So, let’s not throw out comments that could incidentally hurt the men we love in our lives who, like Kushner, cannot grow full beards. They didn’t put their unqualified private equity buddies in charge of handling a catastrophic pandemic when thousands of people were dying! They don’t deserve the stray cruelties.

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Second: The problem Kushner has here is not actually with his beard. It’s with his hair.
If you look at the photo from Ivanka’s Instagram account, the two are in black-tie attire. Kushner is wearing what appears to be a velvet suit jacket. His hair is a soft, side-swept helmet, formless and inoffensive. The unkempt beard is jarringly out of place.

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You know what could fix this? Some long, greasy locks. An unruly mop. A mullet, even. Unkempt beards call for unkempt hair to match. He’d look strange in the Palm Beach crowd, sure, but at least he’d present a coherent look. This beard belongs on a body wearing a hoodie and sweatpants. He may find it slightly harder to do business with Saudi despots, but perhaps the slouchy look could open up avenues for friendships with right-wing tech bros—a potential extra diplomatic lane for Kushner’s political ambitions.

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And it might even do something for his place within the family. Already, he has ceded the more rural-America-LARP visuals to Eric and Donald Trump Jr., who have both grown full beards and are off launching hunting magazines. Kushner, always a city man, never really seemed to want to match the Trump sons’ aesthetic ambitions and populist cosplay. Still, even if his new beard doesn’t fit in with the Trump boys, it’s a shake-up to his urbane image.

We can’t say what drove Jared to grow this facial hair, or what his future plans for it are. But he has an opportunity to do something here that could prove to his father-in-law that he’s more than an Ivy League education. Dirtbag Jared would be a weird Jared, sure. But it’d better, at least, than this current unnerving presentation.

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QOSHE - The Big Problem with Jared Kushner’s New Dirtbag Beard - Molly Olmstead
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The Big Problem with Jared Kushner’s New Dirtbag Beard

8 4
01.02.2024
Tweet Share Share Comment

H​​ere at Slate we like to keep tabs on politicians’ unexpected beard growth, if only to attempt to divine what might be going on in the heads of these famous men. So we must report that a new beard has been spotted, this time on erstwhile Trump White House employee (and Trump family member) Jared Kushner.

This beard, which was first featured in his wife Ivanka Trump’s Instagram in mid-January, was subtle at first. But a Jan. 22 Instagram post that appeared to show it at a later and potentially maxed-out stage of growth caught our attention for being—well, take a look:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Ivanka Trump (@ivankatrump)

There’s something troubling about this beard, aesthetically. It’s patchy. It’s unshaped. Some here at Slate believe the beard makes Kushner look younger, presumably because the wispy quality of the facial hair only emphasizes how unnervingly youthful the 43-year-old Kushner’s face is. (Plus, it doesn’t hide his dimples.) Some think it makes him look older, presumably because it obscures the youthful crispness of his jawline, and because the blond patches could be mistaken for gray. The........

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