Recently, a hairdresser asked me what I like to do in my spare time.
I pondered for a moment. “I like to read,” I said. “I walk a lot.” And then I recalled what I planned to do as soon as I got home. “Also,” I told her, “I really like to nap.”
The hairdresser sighed. “Lucky you,” she said. “I don’t get time to nap.”
“I make time for it!” I exclaimed. “It’s my favourite thing in the world!” I could hear the passion in my voice, and I suddenly winced.
Oh my god, I thought. Is napping my hobby?
Is it OK to love my daytime sleep with such a passion?Credit: iStock
I began napping during the day when my kids were babies, as a way of mediating my disturbed nighttime rest. When the kids got older, and I returned to my usual eight hours, I gave up my daytime naps. I’d still take the occasional kip on the couch when I was on holidays, or fall asleep when taking my kids to the movies (I quite literally slept through every single G-rated film from 1999 to 2019). Usually, however, I managed to stay awake for an entire day – sometimes a whole 16 hours at a stretch!
Over the past few months, however, I have been taking to my bed again (or my couch, or my partner’s couch, or pretty much any couch, really) most afternoons. I am not unwell. I am not depressed. I simply adore my naps.
A daytime rest is a joy, but it is not so much being unconscious that is pleasurable; it is, rather, the act of becoming unconscious. I kick off my shoes, put on my eye-hat (the black T-shirt I throw on my head to block out the light), and feel myself being pulled deliciously into slumber. At night, I can lie awake for an hour or more before I drop off. During the day, for reasons I cannot quite fathom, I am out like a light in seconds.
I wonder, sometimes, if it’s OK to love sleep with such a passion. Is it normal to wake up in the morning looking forward to my nap? Is it acceptable to sneak in a quick sleep in the afternoon, even when I’m not especially tired?
After all, I don’t really need a daytime sleep, not any more. When the kids were young, my naps were a necessity. They kept me sane. They were medicinal! These days, my naps are entirely an indulgence. I could do without them. I could pull an all-dayer if I had to.
But I don’t have to. I work from home, and I can nap during the day if I so choose. And taking a little break from being an adult – from having to get through my to-do list, make decisions, consider other people, perform, parent, think! – is so deeply restorative that I do.
My family understand my fondness for naps, and know to keep a wide berth when I am on the couch.
“Are you having your nap now, Mum?” my daughter asked me today as I headed downstairs to my bedroom.
“It’s nine in the morning!” I said indignantly. “I’m just getting my walking shoes!”
She shrugged. My daughter finds it exciting to be awake at 2am. I find it exciting to be asleep at 2pm. We are at very different stages of our circadian journeys.
I remember what it was like to be 16, and to consider sleep a complete waste of my time. And, to be fair, my kid has a point. Life is short, and it ends in the longest sleep of them all. I could be using my limited time much more productively; I could learn a new language, or do yoga, or bake sourdough, or do absolutely anything other than lying prone.
But napping helps me to be a better person. It is my therapy, my sanctuary, my self-care routine. It makes me more tolerant, more cheerful, and more energised when I’m awake. What’s more, it is free, it is portable, and it requires no special equipment. (Honestly, I can nap anywhere, at almost any time, and I don’t even have to be lying down!)
Napping is my hobby, and a fine one at that. And I am headed to the couch to work on it right now.
Kerri Sackville is an author, a columnist and a mother of three. Her new book is The Secret Life of You: How a bit of alone time can change your life, relationships and maybe the world.
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