It’s often said that ‘sorry’ is the hardest word.
If that’s true then it has an inseparable twin in ‘forgiveness’.
Many of us, including myself, find that our misguided pride, vanity, and egos, create a roadblock to peace, understanding and happiness by our inability to let these two words become the better part of us.
Hardness of heart is a hellish thing.
It turns otherwise good people into shrivelled and twisted human beings without the capacity to forgive both the real and imagined slights and hurts which vex and scar us throughout life.
It allows relationships which are or were precious and which could be glued together with a bit of humility, to fracture beyond repair, leaving anger and bitterness in their wake.
At this time of year the Christmas Christian message “let he who is without sin throw the first stone” is very apt.
This is the time of the season when many of us instead of hypocritically judging others for their shortcomings, might usefully examine our own consciences, and could do with finding double helpings of ‘sorry’ and ‘forgiveness’, as we wave the old year goodbye and bid the new one hello.
Good people sometimes do things they wish they hadn’t done, and would do differently, if they could turn back the clock.
I’m very conscious that having the privilege of offering my thoughts in a weekly column allows me to pontificate on a variety of decisions which folk (usually those in power) have made.
In trying to honestly address the issues at hand though, it’s important for me to try to keep sight of the fact that comment should as far as possible not be personal, but factual and honestly held opinion on the matters at hand.
I was reminded of this as I recalled my column from last January where I discussed how, like many who had wandered away from it, I had slowly drifted back to the Catholic faith.
I remember at the time Michael Matheson, who is a practising Catholic, replying to my re-tweet of my article saying, “Excellent column Jim”, with a wee emoji of hands clasped in prayer.
I often think that Michael’s hands must have been firmly joined in supplication given the furore surrounding him in recent times.
As the SNP secretary for NHS recovery, Health and Social Care, Matheson has had an embattled year over a huge iPad bill which was run up while on holiday on his government-issued device, and for which he has faced huge media and public criticism.
Until then he had enjoyed a reasonable reputation and was generally thought to be a safe pair of hands.
In public office it’s absolutely correct that folk are held to high standards of accountability, but it’s also right I think that we remember that to err is human and that we try to find within ourselves the capacity for forgiveness, remembering that often it’s a case of “there, but for the grace of God go you or I”.
Judgment of Matheson’s iPad episode will be pronounced on by those who investigate standards in public life, but offering absolution is a personal matter for us all.
Lack of forgiveness and absence of the quality of mercy are at the heart of so many broken relationships and fractured families.
Wrong actions, words spoken in haste, ego, vanity, greed and deception, are sadly part of the human condition.
This time of year is the ideal time to reflect on and renew our common humanity and decency, and to forgive the trespasses of others, as well as our own.
This Christmas my wife and I decided we would buy only one small gift for each other, since frankly there’s nothing that either of us desperately required.
Being a much kinder soul than me she also decided that outside of the Christmas cards we could deliver locally, that we would donate the stamp money for those we normally post, to the guide dogs charity.
It’s not a personal revolt against consumerism; simply an acknowledgement of our particular juncture in life.
Many folk are in the same boat, turning away from buying things which will lie in a wardrobe and never see the light of day.
This isn’t a retreat from a time of year which we both enjoy, just a slightly different direction.
In town last week we suddenly decided to heck with the shopping for stuff neither of us needed and hopped on the bus to St Andrews for a nice bite to eat and a drink and the pleasure of each other’s company.
We’re not stopping buying for those close to us, but it’s a change of perspective where spending time and money together rather than hunting for unwanted and un-needed gifts is now the ideal Christmas present.
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