By Bernard Rowan

I’ve followed stories in The Korea Times about Korean culture. Issues such as loneliness and isolation are an increasing problem. There have been tragedies concerning the suicide of famous and non-famous Koreans and how lonely were their lives. I read a column that Koreans prefer to be home alone nowadays instead of enjoying traditional holiday celebrations with family members. In December, another story said there were 540,000 isolated Korean young people (ages 19 to 34). Many retreat to a virtual world. Most have contemplated or attempted suicide.

Korean society is advanced. But it’s an advanced society predicated on “ppalli, ppalli.” High educational achievement and linear success models that don’t suit everybody. The same holds true in America and other societies.

Likewise, it saddens me that many elderly Koreans are “home alone.” Many face housing insecurity. Young adults have long since left multi-generational households. Young adults delay or don’t marry. They have few or no children. The generations thin down, leaving many elders on their own. The old and the young join faces in a sad situation, again not just in Korea.

Divorces have risen in Korea and other advanced societies. Middle-aged adults pursue increasingly individualized and isolated success chases. They enjoy their achievements in greater isolation from their (former) spouses, with few or no children, and with less and less elder contact.

This seems “the pattern,” or at least a leading one, in contemporary society. There are many positives that individual success produces. Yet, the problems of loneliness and isolation betray how the many advantages of contemporary society incline us to live like robots, semi-automatons in danger of compromising innate humanity. Like Doc Martin of the famous BBC television show, we’re more comfortable with our patients than we are with our families or ourselves.

I think it’s instructive that most of us also know there’s a problem here. And it seems most of us want to do something about it. I don’t have all the ideas or solutions. I’ll suggest some that could help, in my opinion.

1. Put down the technology. Technology isn’t the enemy. Our overuse and overreliance on it are the problem. We must unwind, unplug, and see that our non-virtual interactions don’t disappear.

2. Substitute real-time interactions in physical or face-to-face settings for some of the excess time spent in the virtual world. This means using leisure time to join in a productive activity, pursuit, sport, or work that benefits others.

3. Beware that individuals in isolation tend to develop solipsistic points of view. Actively seek out and learn about those who live and think differently than you do.

4. Travel. It need not be an international experience, but go somewhere you know nothing about and take it on as a chance to learn how others live. Learn and enjoy what brings life to another place different from your own.

5. Affirm yourself. As we age, fewer people are there to validate us as individuals. It’s a good practice to tell ourselves that we’ve accomplished something, made it through a trial or struggle, and that we are innately valuable and worthy people. Too many messages incline us to a version of that old Saturday Night Live skit, “Wayne’s World” where Myers and Carvey say “We’re unworthy!”.

6. Be open to seeking help. Many of us deny that we have a problem or think we’ll just figure it out and go it alone. Most people have some mental health challenges, and it’s important to acquire an openness to seeking help for anxiety and depression in all its forms. Increasingly, anonymous and more “pop up” types of therapy and self-help are available. It need not involve expensive or regular visits to a professional, though those are valuable and may be necessary in some cases.

7. Turn off and leave those experiences that crowd the mind with negativity. We all have value. We shouldn’t cave into the subtle messages of much media to leave the world, along with mechanisms that ramp up depression, jealousy, anger, and hatred.

8. Finally, seek out and make a new acquaintance. Be open to finding someone whose interests, passions, and opinions complement yours, or who is quite different but intrigues you. The main benefit of spending time with another person in this context is “getting outside oneself” and trying to identify how other people matter.

We are amid a contemporary social crisis of loneliness and isolation. Here’s hoping 2024, the Year of the Dragon, will see us restore the fire in our lives, for our good, the good of our families and each other, and for humanity. Saehae bock manhi batseyo!

Bernard Rowan (browan10@yahoo.com) is associate provost for contract administration and academic services and professor of political science at Chicago State University. He is a past fellow of the Korea Foundation and former visiting professor at Hanyang University.

QOSHE - Let's take care - Bernard Rowan
menu_open
Columnists Actual . Favourites . Archive
We use cookies to provide some features and experiences in QOSHE

More information  .  Close
Aa Aa Aa
- A +

Let's take care

23 1
15.02.2024
By Bernard Rowan

I’ve followed stories in The Korea Times about Korean culture. Issues such as loneliness and isolation are an increasing problem. There have been tragedies concerning the suicide of famous and non-famous Koreans and how lonely were their lives. I read a column that Koreans prefer to be home alone nowadays instead of enjoying traditional holiday celebrations with family members. In December, another story said there were 540,000 isolated Korean young people (ages 19 to 34). Many retreat to a virtual world. Most have contemplated or attempted suicide.

Korean society is advanced. But it’s an advanced society predicated on “ppalli, ppalli.” High educational achievement and linear success models that don’t suit everybody. The same holds true in America and other societies.

Likewise, it saddens me that many elderly Koreans are “home alone.” Many face housing insecurity. Young adults have long since left multi-generational households. Young adults delay or don’t marry. They have few or no children. The generations thin down, leaving many elders on their own. The old and the young join faces in a sad situation, again not just in Korea.

Divorces have risen in Korea and other advanced societies.........

© The Korea Times


Get it on Google Play