Seldom has a squiggle caused such a fuss, or more a squiggle’s absence. Three weeks back, this masthead’s own “word-herder” Joanne Anderson shared the apostrophe kerfuffle surrounding Taylor Swift’s new album, The Tortured Poets Department. Fan forums blazed. Sticklers tutted. Did the pop queen bungle her punctuation? Should Poets adopt an apostrophe, be that Poet’s or Poets’, depending on their number?
Then again, if the department is studying tortured poets, just as a sales department focuses on sales, no apostrophe is necessary. The telltale clue will likely lie in the lyrics when the album arrives.
Small beer, I know, yet Swift’s LP, and Anderson’s op-ed, did expose the passion we place in this marker of possession (such as Gulliver’s Travels, by that other Swift) or omission (such as Don’t Blame Me, an earlier Swift single).
Grammar pedants have been swift to judge Swift’s new album title, but pop often plays loose with punctuation.Credit:
Cynics may suspect this whole “sic” trick as a ploy to plug the new record, but I hardly think a billionaire troubadour needs to be so crafty. Besides, songs have long traded in grammatical peccadilloes. If Mick Jagger can’t get no satisfaction, then logically he’s sated. And who’s game enough to challenge Dylan for Lay Lady Lay? (“Say, Bob, I think you mean lie. And what’s with your comma allergy?”)
Purists would run a blue pencil through Pink’s Never Gonna Not Dance. Or send a memo to Van Morrison: “Sir, given the lack of hyphen, does your Brown Eyed Girl have brown irises, or is she an olive-skinned lass with the capacity to see?”
No apostrophe in sight, and it might be all right.Credit: Kate Rose
Spotify lists teem with solecisms, from missing question marks (Pink again – Who Knew) to James Brown’s errant modifier (I Feel Good, rather than, well, Well), from Flaming Lips’ stolen verb (We a Family) to Bee Gees’ absentee gees: Stayin’ Alive, Jive Talkin’. While 2Pac’s anthem Ambitionz Az a Ridah is radio goo-goo.
Clearly the jukebox plays by alternative rules, smitten by sensational spelling, as the marketing trend is known. Krispy Kreme doughnuts, say, may well slump should they heed the dictionary, just as Froot Loops and Weet-Bix are cereal offenders. For every tin of Whiskas, there’s Dolly Parton’s White Limozeen. For each tub of D’lite yoghurt, there’s Smashing Pumpkins’ Mayonaise.
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