Nothing can prepare you for the birth of twins.

From arguments over who wins in a fight between a tarantula and a wasp, whether Santa has an iPad or an iPhone, wee battles in the shower (“don’t cross the streams!“) to simultaneous LEGO building (this should be an Olympic sport), there is never a dull moment.

Giacomo and Carlo Massola running through Parliament House, Canberra, while attached to each other.Credit: James Massola

I speak from personal experience: my wife, Karen, and I welcomed twin boys back in 2018. We’ve never recovered.

And that’s before you get the poonami of nappy changes, balancing two on a breastfeeding pillow to feed, taking forever to leave the house, nits-related double head shavings and, worst of all, spending half an hour crammed into a shopping centre toilet with a couple of four-year-olds because “I really want to poo Papa but my poo doesn’t want to.”

Recently, our boys combined forces to lock Karen and me outside on our balcony so they could devour a pack of lollies. It took an emergency key to get back in the house.

If you thought having one kid was a lot, you ain’t seen nothing. And that’s before you get to proper multiples, like three, four or more.

Unlike the triplet Terriers on Bluey, our twins don’t speak in unison. Why would they, when it’s so much more fun to shout over each other?

We did everything we could to prepare, and were totally unprepared. But there is a serious point to this column, rather than just a dad’s lament.

Jams Massola feeding his new born twins in 2018Credit: James Massola

QOSHE - Poonami! If you thought having one kid was a handful, try doubling it - James Massola
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Poonami! If you thought having one kid was a handful, try doubling it

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30.03.2024

Nothing can prepare you for the birth of twins.

From arguments over who wins in a fight between a tarantula and a wasp, whether Santa has an iPad or an iPhone, wee battles in the shower (“don’t cross the streams!“) to simultaneous LEGO building (this should be an Olympic sport), there is never a dull moment.

Giacomo and Carlo Massola running through Parliament House, Canberra, while........

© The Sydney Morning Herald


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