It sounds lame, but before my first marriage I gave little thought to what it was about my groom that made him worth nailing down.

I’d wanted somebody who could crack a whip because it looked hot in The Man From Snowy River, but that turned out to be too niche. He was a good little mover on the dance floor, was funny and knew which shoes to wear when. Sold!

Kim Kardashian has a priority list for her next partner.Credit: AP

Only one friend asked if I was sure I’d met my match at 24. Yep, I said. This man could build a functional helicopter from icy pole sticks and a hot glue gun. If I was dangling by fingertips off a cliff he’d save me.

Second time around, being saved was low on my list. By then I could save myself. What was important were still non-tangibles, but almost everything attractive is. You know, your mutual respect, open communication, shared values, same frequent flyer allegiances.

Something I read from an older married couple had stuck with me. The gist is the wife said forget looks, don’t worry about money – the important thing when choosing a life partner is to know you’ll be having a conversation with them for the rest of your life.

Marriage, she said, is just an endless chat. So make sure that what your darling says amuses, infuriates, intrigues, surprises, educates you. They need to captivate your interest. And you need to do the same for them. A boring, decades-long conversation will kill love faster than anything.

Which is why I chose my Chris. Nearly 12 years on, I’m rarely sick of what he says. And he ticked a lot of my other Husband Material boxes (although still not a whip crack in sight, bugger it).

I’m the first person he looks at in the room when something’s funny. He loves me, not the idea of who he thinks I should be. He grazes my waist on the way to the fridge. He has a life outside our relationship. Can reverse serenely. Notices ankles. His cauliflower au gratin is next level, and he’s sooky about older ladies and dogs.