It’s not often that I feel shamed by a celebrity news story. Saturday may be the very first time.

Like many of my friends and media colleagues, I jumped with great enthusiasm onto the “Katespiracy” bandwagon. Though I pride myself on being a critical thinker, there I was, scrutinising photos, scanning Reddit threads, and exchanging increasingly wild theories in my WhatsApp groups.

Catherine, Princess of Wales shares the news that she is being treated for cancer.Credit: AP

“They’re divorcing,” wrote one friend. “I know someone who knows someone at the palace, and they’ve confirmed it.”

“She’s had a breakdown,” posited another. “She’s in a psych hospital and won’t show her face.”

Even my family were intrigued. We discussed Kate’s disappearance over the dinner table, and shared news on the story as it broke. My 16-year-old, who usually sends me parenting advice from TikTok, began sending me “Kate-Gate” posts instead.

And honestly? I loved it. More than that; I needed it. We all did! The news cycle has been relentless and exhausting. Every day we read about war in the Middle East, war in Ukraine, global warming, the threat of a second Trump term. The cost of living is skyrocketing. The cost of housing is out of control. We need to brace ourselves before we pick up our phones.

And then, a blessed diversion: a princess who had gone missing. It was intriguing, and low stakes. It was the gift that kept on giving! She’d had a Brazilian butt lift. She was growing out her bangs. William was having an affair. They were using a body double. It was a true-crime podcast unfolding in real time. The posts were hilarious. The memes were superb!

Flowers are left outside Windsor Castle after Princess Catherine’s revelation.Credit: AP

And honestly, I felt completely justified in joining in the speculation. Yes, Kate was a person like everyone else, but also, she wasn’t really. If we could make fun of anyone on the planet, surely we could make fun of the royal family, living in their tax-funded palaces on the other side of the world?