This is it, the smartest decision the organisers of Splendour in the Grass have ever made. They’ve finally made Kylie Minogue a Splendour headliner and now Kylie Minogue will save their souls.
That’s the kind of power Kylie has. Whatever her booking fee, it’s not enough. Because if Byron Bay’s Splendour doesn’t stand the test of time (and the crisis afflicting Australia’s festivals), Kylie’s headline set will likely be the first thing playing on the slideshow at its funeral. Hopefully, someone will be there with defibrillators in hand because even the memory of this set will likely breathe new life into Splendour – and potentially even the wider live music industry.
Lest you think I’m joking, I speak with the authority of a man who has ranked every single song Kylie has released.
Spirits were up, but ticket sales were down for Splendour in the Grass 2023. Credit: Matt Jelonek/Getty Images
This is better than that time Brian Wilson headlined. Better than when Kanye headlined. Better than when Outkast headlined. Better than the 14 times The Strokes headlined, supported by Bloc Party. This is Splendour’s Beychella. It won’t get better than this, and the line-up, announced on Tuesday, comes at a particularly decisive moment.
Australian music festivals are in disarray, even Splendour, the Godzilla of Australian music festivals. After its disastrous 2022 event, initially delayed by COVID and then held amid flooded campsites and blocked escape routes, ticket sales for last year’s event – headlined by Lizzo, Flume, and, uh, Mumford & Sons – were reportedly lacklustre, down 30 per cent on the previous year. At this point, Splendour could use a hit.
And it’s not just Splendour. People just aren’t going to music festivals any more. Australian festivals are struggling, but reportedly so are massive international events like Coachella and Burning Man. The effects of climate degradation mean the places where these things happen are increasingly on fire or underwater.
Personally, I don’t know why all music festivals aren’t just held in the middle of a concrete city, on the roofs of skyscrapers. Fire and water can’t get us up there!
Coupled with the cost-of-living crisis – the increased cost of organising these festivals, reflected in the price of tickets (three-day passes for Splendour are now $416.92, while a one-day ticket is $192.63), not to mention the cost of travel, accommodation and food and drink on-site – it’s understandable why prospective gig-goers have been increasingly reluctant to spend money on music festivals.
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