I was only a generation away from being another statistic in the stolen generation.

My aunty tells a story of her and my dad’s family moving from house to house frequently just so they could escape the threat of a visit from welfare officers. If you stayed in one place too long, the chance of that dreaded knock at the door would increase. They only had one set of school clothes, so every day they would wash it and make sure it was clean for the following day’s lessons. If it wasn’t, there was always the worry of being taken away.

That’s part of my story. It’s what I tell our Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander players every year when they come into camp for the annual NRL All-Stars clash.

That pre-season match has become a highlight of the rugby league calendar, but it’s so much more than that. It’s such a powerful week. We had a young player in camp this year who knew he was Aboriginal, but had little idea about his family. He was well aware of his Maori culture, but had never been told about his Indigenous ancestry. We were able to connect him with his family. That’s what our game of rugby league can help young men do, and it’s a privilege to be able to play a small role in that.

Since being appointed the Indigenous All-Stars head coach I have intentionally designed the camps to create a pathway for Indigenous players to connect with their culture from the grassroots and stay with our game all the way through, on and off the field. My family has travelled with me to both All-Stars fixtures and are immensely proud of our heritage.

As part of our camp, this year we had players undertaking Aboriginal language lessons. It was organised by Dean Widders and while there are many different dialects, we encourage the guys to use the language when greeting each other. Some guys are disconnected from their culture, and it might only seem like something small, but it can make a big difference. When we send the players back to their clubs, we want them to feel strong culturally. I hope clubs see the benefit in that.

Indigneous All-Stars coach Ronald Griffiths.Credit: Getty

As you can imagine, then, words matter. Whether it is said in a quiet corner of the team room or dressing room, or in the middle of the field in the heat of battle, how you address people in our culture is so important.

What happened in the match between the Roosters and Broncos in Las Vegas has opened old wounds. To happen so soon after our All-Stars camp and the fantastic week we had in Townsville means it’s raw. It’s still hard to process as I’m writing this.