In the flurry of social introductions and networking events, one question always inevitably arises: “So, what do you do for work?”

While we often ask this question out of politeness or curiosity, it inadvertently places undue emphasis on a person’s job as the primary facet of their identity. The common practice of associating one’s identity with their profession goes beyond mere conversational habit. It’s a symptom of a deeper societal trend that equates professional success with self-worth.

What someone does for work inevitably arises at social events, but jobs don’t define who people are.Credit: Shutterstock

People from all career stages, whether they are just starting out, running a small business or in high-level positions, can fall into the trap of setting high standards tied to their job performance and job title.

This situation often leads to a continuous quest for approval and validation through work. Not only this, but it can also lead to significant emotional turmoil, as people find their self-esteem fluctuating with their career’s ups and downs.

While dedication to your job is commendable, it can create a cycle where personal satisfaction and self-acceptance hinge on professional success. In this context, self-worth becomes a hostage to professional accolades and achievements, leading to a continuous sense of inadequacy, burnout and a failure to recognise one’s value beyond their job title.

A study discussed by the Stanford Graduate School of Business suggests that self-reflective job titles can reduce emotional exhaustion. The research found that when employees at the Make-A-Wish Foundation were allowed to create their own job titles, they experienced less emotional exhaustion, mediated by increases in self-verification and psychological safety.

Instead of defaulting to a career question, start conversations by asking about a person’s interests, hobbies, recent adventures, or opinions.

While this solution isn’t practical across the board, it demonstrates the clear impact that job titles have on our self-identities and personal wellbeing.

Another problem with this question is that it elevates our professional endeavours as the most noteworthy aspect of our lives, overshadowing all the other dimensions of our identity. Your job is simply what you do, it is not who you are.