It would take a good dog and several days of hunting to find someone who knows less than I do about gender transitioning. On the other hand, I do know a little about the parents of children who don’t fit the standard mould.
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Back in the day, I had the opportunity to meet and get to know a number of parents who were heart-first advocates for their kids. The strongest group were the parents of children diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD).
ASD is a frontal assault on the foundation of public education – the myth of the average child. The school system is perfectly designed to serve the needs of a non-existent creature.
Most kids can adapt, with varying degrees of success, to the system. The kids who can’t are problems.
The nature of autism is a direct challenge to the notion of average. The spectrum covers a lot of territory and autism demands very individual strategies. To quote Dr. Stephen Shore, “If you’ve met one person with autism, you’ve met one person with autism.”
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Parents advocating for their ASD kids have been in relentless pursuit of a lot of governments. And, while being on the receiving end of that advocacy isn’t always easy, the passion of parents underscores the fundamental truth that while schools may be involved, parents are committed.
I was thinking about the parents of ASD kids last week when the gender non-conforming debate landed in Ottawa. Alberta Premier Danielle Smith is set to introduce legislation that would make notification of parents a requirement before schools change a student’s pronouns. She’d also ban puberty blockers and hormone therapy for kids 15 and under.
You had to know that federal politicians would take the bait and, sure enough, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said Alberta “is the most anti-LGBT of anywhere in the country.”
Not to be left out, Conservative Leader Pierre Poilievre said Trudeau was “demonizing” parents.
They both managed to miss the point. This isn’t so much an esoteric debate about the rights of parents as it is an acknowledgment that kids depend on parents.
Schools that “care” for kids until 3 p.m., 160 days a year, are not designed or equipped to help kids that don’t fit the mould. Big public institutions have rules, regulations, processes and procedures. But they also have the Tin Man problem —they just don’t have a heart.
Heart is the essential, missing ingredient in the whole debate about parents’ rights and kids who don’t fit into the traditional understanding of gender. Public systems view these kids as .0037% of the population. Parents view them as individuals. Heck, they love them.
Heart is absent in the messy debate about parental rights and medical procedures. LGBTIQA+ warriors, social justice advocates, medical pioneers, political trespassers, and the morally indignant need to back off just a little. This isn’t about being right. It’s about caring.
Kids who can’t squeeze into the ridged frame of average have a tougher journey. Finding a solid foundation to pursue their lives is, at best, challenging. It’s much too difficult a path to travel on your own.
And this, ultimately, is the task that parents of special kids take on — making sure their child is never alone on the journey.
So here is a little advice from the political sidelines: park the rights debate and the preaching and try to find a little heart for families engaged in the all-consuming business of loving their child.
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SNOBELEN: Stop preaching and debating and find love for families
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17.02.2024
It would take a good dog and several days of hunting to find someone who knows less than I do about gender transitioning. On the other hand, I do know a little about the parents of children who don’t fit the standard mould.
Subscribe now to read the latest news in your city and across Canada.
Subscribe now to read the latest news in your city and across Canada.
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Back in the day, I had the opportunity to meet and get to know a number of parents who were heart-first advocates for their kids. The strongest group were the parents of children diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD).
ASD is a frontal assault on the foundation of public education – the myth of the average child. The school system is perfectly designed to serve the needs of a non-existent creature.
Most kids can adapt, with varying degrees of success, to the system. The kids who can’t are problems.
The nature of autism is a direct challenge to the notion of average. The spectrum covers a lot of territory and autism demands very individual........
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