It’s been a big few weeks in the NRL.
Amid the excitement of opening the season in Las Vegas this Sunday (AEDT), we’ve read about Papua New Guinea becoming the NRL’s 18th team; the North Sydney Bears coming back; the NRL buying the embattled UK Super League; the NRL setting up its own US Super League; and something or other about the season ahead.
In rugby league parlance, it’s been a dead-set proposal-a-thon.
Only one headline can consign all those can-do rugby league ideas to the back of the sports section and that’s an oh-no rugby league atrocity.
When the NRL first floated the notion of opening the 2024 season in Las Vegas, the first thought that popped into many minds was, “What could possibly go wrong?”
How cynical you all are. Apart from the occasional off-field indiscretion involving alcohol, drugs, urine, simulated sex with a poodle-cross and setting alight a teenager in an inflatable dolphin outfit, what else has happened?
Yeah, momma: Aaron Woods with an Elvis impersonator in Las Vegas.Credit: Getty
Actually, don’t answer that.
What is the NRL thinking? Vegas. Vegas?! The ultimate adults’ playground some compare to Vietnam because you never come out as the same person who went in.
Has anyone from the NRL read Hunter S Thompson’s Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas? Or watched The Hangover? Or tried to play rugby league with a head full of mescaline let alone count to 21? Evidently not.
Desperate to avoid ridicule, the four participating clubs — Manly, Souths, Brisbane and the Roosters — have lectured their players on how to avoid being chewed up and spat out by the neon monster living in the middle of the Mojave Desert.
Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department lieutenant Kendall Hill has told the players to avoid excessive alcohol, drugs, and sex with mysterious, unknown women. He’s also warned them about leaving their drinks unattended so they’re not spiked, and to avoid snorting illicit substances because they could contain the potent opioid fentanyl.
If these dire warnings about the trappings of Las Vegas weren’t enough to turn the players into choirboys, Manly’s head of security, Michael Malligan, has banned those from his club from using Tinder. It’s unclear if Grindr is off limits.
As these stories have emerged, it’s been difficult to resist a fentanyl-induced eye-roll. At one point, I had to check if we were opening the season in the favelas of Bogotá instead of the Allegiant Stadium of Las Vegas.
Excessive use of alcohol and drugs can be dangerous? Ground-breaking. Women preying on innocent footballers via Tinder or social media? Talk about the hunter becoming the hunted.
The sights and bright lights of Las Vegas during the NRL’s promotional tour last year.Credit: NRL Photos
As for fentanyl, NSW Health has been warning about cocaine being cut with the powerful drug for several years.
The reality is NRL players can and have found themselves in as much trouble at home as Las Vegas, as NRL chief executive Andrew Abdo argued on Friday.
“We’re fully aware those risks exist here in Australia, they exist anywhere around the world,” Abdo told Nine’s Today. “It’s not a major concern for us.”
Amen. There’s trouble in every city and town if you look hard enough. Some of us have made a hobby of it.
We wonder why rugby league players act like children. Maybe it’s because we treat them as such. Maybe it’s time to treat them like men. Punish them as men, too.
Which is difficult when the NRL has lowered the bar so low for player misbehaviour that anything caught on mobile phone by a member of the public and posted on social media is likely to be deemed to “bring the game into disrepute”.
And, yes, I’m talking about Broncos players Adam Reynolds and Patrick Carrigan, who were fined $5000 and $10,000 respectively for an aggressive cuddle outside a Brisbane pub, even though it attracted no complaint from the public nor venue, nor did it warrant a police investigation.
What will a rugby league atrocity look like in Las Vegas? You can bet it’s tamer than an NFL atrocity.
In recent years, a handful of its players have been charged with driving under the influence, including former Las Vegas Raiders wide receiver Henry Ruggs III, who ran over and killed a woman and her dog while driving intoxicated. He was sentenced to at least three years in jail after being found guilty of manslaughter.
Las Vegas Raiders wide receiver Henry Ruggs III faces court after he ran over and killed a woman and her dog while driving under the influence.Credit: Getty
Another Raiders player, cornerback Damon Arnette, was cut from the squad when he was found guilty of pointing a gun at a valet along with possessing a controlled substance.
New Orleans running back Alvin Kamara was suspended for three matches when he punched the living daylights out of man who got into a lift at Drai’s nightclub just off the Vegas Strip.
I can’t envisage any NRL player committing these sorts of crimes, especially when they have such a narrow window to enjoy the delights of Sin City: a few hours on Saturday night and Sunday morning after their matches before flying back to reality.
They’ve got about enough time to stroll out the door of Resorts World, where the teams are staying on the northern part of the Strip, across the road to the Spearmint Rhino Gentlemen’s Club before making a beeline to the nearest drive-thru wedding chapel.
And so what if they did? If they’re not breaking the law, if they’re not hurting anyone else, let players live their lives.
Give them all the welfare and support they need. But stop mothering them. How else are they going to learn from their mistakes — like the rest of us did?
Clubs with a strong culture don’t need to put their players on notice. They’ll have a tough and respected coach who knows how much rope to give his players. If the players care, they’re less worried about bringing the game into disrepute than disrespecting the club and letting down the coach.
That avoids police charges in Las Vegas in March and wins you premierships in Sydney in October.
It’s the first round of the premiership, with all four teams having something to prove after how they finished last season. If players are treating this like a boys’ trip, they may as well enjoy it — because this weekend will be the highlight of their season.
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