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“Hallowed be Thy Name” — Spirit Halloween
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“On earth as it is in heaven” — Boeing
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"into temptation” — Temptations Creamy Puree cat treats
“but deliver us” — UPS
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So, apparently, Fox News is airing sponsored prayers now! “Fox and Friends” started its Sunday morning program with a special Lenten prayer — brought to viewers by the prayer app Hallow!
As an Episcopalian, I suppose all my prayers have been sponsored by King Henry VIII for hundreds of years, but this is still wild to me. As long as we are letting sponsors lead us in prayer, I have some more suggestions for possible backers. (This feels like the kind of concept that your youth pastor thought would make a funny chain email in 2008, but … I’m not above it.)
And you don’t even need to write any new prayers! You could probably get north of a dozen different sponsors for the Lord’s Prayer alone:
“Our Father, who" — sponsored by 23andMe!
“Art in Heaven” — Etsy.com
“Hallowed be Thy Name” — Spirit Halloween
“Thy Kingdom come” — Burger King
“Thy will be done” — TrustandWill.com! (“Life decisions don’t have to come with headaches.”)
“On earth as it is in heaven” — Boeing
“Give us this day our daily bread” — Panera
“And forgive us our debts" — the Trump campaign
“As we forgive our debtors” — NOT the Trump campaign
“And lead us not" — anti-Biden PAC
"into temptation” — Temptations Creamy Puree cat treats
“but deliver us” — UPS
“from evil" — X.com
“for Thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever, ahhh" — unfortunately, the Trump campaign again
“men” — Grindr
Fox News aired a sponsored prayer! Here’s the one it should do next.
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21.03.2024
Follow this authorAlexandra Petri's opinions
Follow“Hallowed be Thy Name” — Spirit Halloween
Advertisement
“Thy Kingdom come” — Burger King
“Thy will be done” — TrustandWill.com! (“Life decisions don’t have to come with headaches.”)
“On earth as it is in heaven” — Boeing
“Give us this day our daily bread” — Panera
“And forgive us our debts" — the Trump campaign
“As we forgive our debtors” — NOT the Trump campaign
“And lead us not" — anti-Biden PAC
"into temptation” — Temptations Creamy Puree cat treats
“but deliver us” — UPS
“from evil" — X.com
“for Thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever, ahhh" — unfortunately, the Trump........
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