Follow this authorAlexandra Petri's opinions
Follow
Keep in mind that your support may be the only thing keeping some justices on the bench!
Here are some of the sponsorship tiers available:
$0 per month | “Citizen NOT United”
* You can offer Justice Elena Kagan some bagels and she can say “no”
$50 per month | “Bench Backer”
* The sound of a mystery toilet flushing during oral argument made available to you as a ringtone
$100 per month | “Citizen”
* Tote bag OR stuffed gerrymander in the shape of a district of your choosing
$500 per month | “Citizen United”
All the lower-tier benefits, plus one of the following clothing options:
* Booty shorts that say “CITIZENS UNITED!”
* Sweatshirt that reads “I Consider Roe To Be Settled Law ;)”
Advertisement
* Bobblehead of Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. labeled “Just Calling Balls and Strikes”
* Baseball cap that says “6-3”
$1,000 per month | “[Your Name Here] and The Supremes”
* The justice will put a special inside joke in the body text of a dissent just for you!
$5,000 per month | “Lady Justice”
* All the lower-tier benefits, plus pick one group of people who should have fewer rights and tell a justice about it!
(Legally, we can offer no guarantees that the justice will listen!)
$8,250 per month or $100,000 annually | “Precedent Setters and Forgetters”
Send a kid to school, specifically the justice’s grandnephew. You don’t get to pick the school, the justice does. Alternatively, sponsor the house of a justice’s mother!
$10,000 per month | “Have Your Tort and Eat It Too”
* You get to devise a scenario where a man wants a website made for a fictional gay wedding that will not actually take place, and your justice and his friends will rule on it as though it’s a real case!
Advertisement
Or they might not! Obviously, we can’t guarantee any of this.
$15,000 per month | “Law ’n Order”
* Justice Samuel A. Alito Jr. will ride on a private plane with you if the plane is already taking off and would have been going that direction anyway
NOTE: Don’t expect any special treatment! He is just there to be ballast for the plane.
$20,000 per month | “Salmon P. Chase Platinum”
* All the lower-tier perks, plus a handwritten note from the justice saying thanks for making special memories
* Ginni Thomas will text you
$25,000 per month | “Obergefell Down and I Can’t Get Up”
* Ginni Thomas will stop texting you
$50,000 per month | “Harlan Crow package”
* All the lower-tier perks, plus the justice will pose for a portrait with you holding a cigar or other accessory of your choice
* Justice will consider you a close, personal friend
Advertisement
* Justice will vacation on your yacht
* Justice will travel on your plane
* ProPublica will do a special report focusing on what good friends you and this justice are!
A Washington Post guide to the friends and patrons of Clarence and Ginni Thomas
$100,000+ per month | “Federalist”
* Host a birthday party or other special event at the court, maybe? Talk to Leonard Leo! We’re sure he can work something out!
It’s sponsors like you that keep the court going! We see you, and we appreciate you!
DISCLAIMER: None of these sponsorship opportunities should be viewed as bribery! Obviously, this is different from bribes. This is just keeping the justices in the lifestyle they deserve, and we know you expect nothing in return! A bribe would be if the justice said, “Thank you for this money, which has influenced my decision-making.” You’re just happy to support the court as the Founders intended.
Share Comments
More from Opinions
HAND CURATED
- Opinion|A Trump dictatorship is increasingly inevitable. We should stop pretending.November 30, 2023Opinion|A Trump dictatorship is increasingly inevitable. We should stop pretending.November 30, 2023
- Opinion|Why cutting IRS funding is not a conservative moveEarlier todayOpinion|Why cutting IRS funding is not a conservative moveEarlier today
- Opinion|Windows on exile: Refugees share their views — and peer beyondDecember 14, 2023Opinion|Windows on exile: Refugees share their views — and peer beyondDecember 14, 2023
View 3 more stories
Loading...
“A ‘delicate matter’: Clarence Thomas’ private complaints about money sparked fears he would resign”
— ProPublica headline, Dec. 18
Thanks for sponsoring a Supreme Court justice!
We hate asking for money as much as you hate reading these pleas, so we’ll keep it brief! Serving on the Supreme Court is a tough life that offers few perks. “The job is not worth doing, for what they pay,” as Justice Clarence Thomas once observed.
Your sponsorship makes THIS court possible. It’s donors like you who allow the justices to thrive and pursue their dreams. There are only nine jobs like this in the world, and they pay in just the low six figures. That’s why we’re so grateful to our Patreon subscribers. It’s your support that keeps our supermajority super! And happy justices rule!
Alexandra Petri: The Supreme Court justice lifestyle is for me!
We value our Patreons more than we are legally or ethically allowed to say. Whether you donate at the tote-bag level or the Harlan Crow level, we appreciate you. Since Justice Thomas raised the issue two decades ago of whether Supreme Court justices are paid enough for him to stay on the court, you’ve stepped up to fill the gap left by their taxpayer-funded salaries. We see the effects every day all through the country, not just in Texas.
As we head into a new year with lots of exciting cases, we hope you’ll consider continuing your support — or even increasing it!
Keep in mind that your support may be the only thing keeping some justices on the bench!
Here are some of the sponsorship tiers available:
$0 per month | “Citizen NOT United”
* You can offer Justice Elena Kagan some bagels and she can say “no”
$50 per month | “Bench Backer”
* The sound of a mystery toilet flushing during oral argument made available to you as a ringtone
$100 per month | “Citizen”
* Tote bag OR stuffed gerrymander in the shape of a district of your choosing
$500 per month | “Citizen United”
All the lower-tier benefits, plus one of the following clothing options:
* Booty shorts that say “CITIZENS UNITED!”
* Sweatshirt that reads “I Consider Roe To Be Settled Law ;)”
* Bobblehead of Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. labeled “Just Calling Balls and Strikes”
* Baseball cap that says “6-3”
$1,000 per month | “[Your Name Here] and The Supremes”
* The justice will put a special inside joke in the body text of a dissent just for you!
$5,000 per month | “Lady Justice”
* All the lower-tier benefits, plus pick one group of people who should have fewer rights and tell a justice about it!
(Legally, we can offer no guarantees that the justice will listen!)
$8,250 per month or $100,000 annually | “Precedent Setters and Forgetters”
Send a kid to school, specifically the justice’s grandnephew. You don’t get to pick the school, the justice does. Alternatively, sponsor the house of a justice’s mother!
$10,000 per month | “Have Your Tort and Eat It Too”
* You get to devise a scenario where a man wants a website made for a fictional gay wedding that will not actually take place, and your justice and his friends will rule on it as though it’s a real case!
Or they might not! Obviously, we can’t guarantee any of this.
$15,000 per month | “Law ’n Order”
* Justice Samuel A. Alito Jr. will ride on a private plane with you if the plane is already taking off and would have been going that direction anyway
NOTE: Don’t expect any special treatment! He is just there to be ballast for the plane.
$20,000 per month | “Salmon P. Chase Platinum”
* All the lower-tier perks, plus a handwritten note from the justice saying thanks for making special memories
* Ginni Thomas will text you
$25,000 per month | “Obergefell Down and I Can’t Get Up”
* Ginni Thomas will stop texting you
$50,000 per month | “Harlan Crow package”
* All the lower-tier perks, plus the justice will pose for a portrait with you holding a cigar or other accessory of your choice
* Justice will consider you a close, personal friend
* Justice will vacation on your yacht
* Justice will travel on your plane
* ProPublica will do a special report focusing on what good friends you and this justice are!
A Washington Post guide to the friends and patrons of Clarence and Ginni Thomas
$100,000+ per month | “Federalist”
* Host a birthday party or other special event at the court, maybe? Talk to Leonard Leo! We’re sure he can work something out!
It’s sponsors like you that keep the court going! We see you, and we appreciate you!
DISCLAIMER: None of these sponsorship opportunities should be viewed as bribery! Obviously, this is different from bribes. This is just keeping the justices in the lifestyle they deserve, and we know you expect nothing in return! A bribe would be if the justice said, “Thank you for this money, which has influenced my decision-making.” You’re just happy to support the court as the Founders intended.
login
who are we?
contact us
qosheapp
Toi Staff
Gideon Levy
Belen Fernandez
Andrew Mitrovica
Mort Laitner
Rami G Khouri
Ali Fathollah-Nejad
Nikkei Editorial
visit website
