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In a recent Windsor Star news story, reporter Trevor Wilhelm, covering the opening of a coroner’s inquest into the death of Chad Romanick, quoted the widow speaking of the “gentle, patient, thoughtful” man who developed a drug addiction and was depressed and suicidal.

Romanick was accused of attempted murder and killed himself when police showed up for this arrest. His widow said people asked her why she stayed in the relationship, and she said: “I stayed because he was worthy of our love, worthy of our help, and worthy of a chance to help himself.”

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I thought this was a respectful article about a troubled man. The second article, written by a Toronto-based columnist, was about Michael Allard, a man with a criminal past who was shot to death near Chatham, probably during a drug deal. The column ends by saying “someone has punched his ticket one-way.”

I volunteer at the South West Detention Centre as part of a book club, and I mentioned Allard to the men in our group. A number of them said that he was a “good guy” and that there were two sides to some stories.

Obviously, he had a troubled past, in and out of prison and acting in violent ways. And yet he had friends, and a son and, I assume, a family. Yes, he did some terrible things, yet I wonder what trauma in his childhood had him acting out so brutally?

I would have appreciated hearing from someone giving a glimpse of the other side of the man. Each of us is more than the worst things we’ve ever done.

Most of the men and women in our prisons are there on drug-related charges. I wonder what past hurts their drug use is attempting to hide? Most of them are not violent and many of them struggle to move on from painful pasts.

The challenge for the rest of us is to show mercy, whether they deserve it or not. “Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone.”

Carolyn Arbour-Dokuchic

Lakeshore

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