In studying the relationship decisions on whether “to stay or go,’' researchers reported interesting answers. From the Drigotas (1992) dependence model to studies by Joel (2018), it becomes apparent that relationship decisions can be stressful. The Drigotas model “asserts that the primary issue in understanding breakup decisions is degree of dependence on a relationship.”

In two studies, Joel's team pointed out that “... people can be motivated to stay in relatively unfulfilling relationships for the sake of their romantic partner.”

Despite the research findings, each person must make a decision based on personal feelings.

Leo Buscaglia, a professor at the University of Southern California wrote the book LOVE: What Life is All About. It has been written that the book was based on his lectures in a non-credit course that he devised after the suicide of one of his students.

In his lectures and in his writings on love and loving, he questioned the concept of “The One. The Right Person.” To those waiting for the right person, he said: “I guarantee you’ll wait forever! There is no right person. You become the right person!”

Even if you decide that ending the relationship is what you wish to do, prepare for an empty feeling inside. But keep expressing gratitude for what you and your partner shared. Focus on qualities that you believe can make you happy. Then close the book on the past and move on.

References

Drigotas, S. M., & Rusbult, C. E. (1992). Should I stay or should I go? A dependence model of breakups. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 62(1), 62–87. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.62.1.62

Joel, S., MacDonald, G., & Page-Gould, E. (2018). Wanting to Stay and Wanting to Go: Unpacking the Content and Structure of Relationship Stay/Leave Decision Processes. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 9(6), 631-644. https://doi.org/10.1177/1948550617722834

Buscaglia, Leo, (1996) LOVE: What Life is All About, Random House, New York