“Listening is not the act of hearing the words spoken; it is the art of understanding the meaning behind those words.” –Simon Sinek
Speaking is a critical life skill that we’re taught from birth. In fact, effective speaking and communication skills are so highly valued in our society that there are thousands of courses on the topic as well as myriad opportunities to earn degrees in communications, all the way up to a Ph.D., with a focus on critical thinking, public speaking, media, and writing skills to prepare students for careers in influential industries such as journalism, law, public relations, speechwriting, and all forms of administration (Bouchrika, 2024; Hamilton, 2023).
But what about the skill of listening? Where and when is that taught? The unfortunate answer is that listening, although arguably even more critical to effective and productive interpersonal, organizational, political, and global communication, is rarely taught. Absent possibly a few therapy-related graduate courses, you’ll be hard-pressed to find courses on the topic of listening, nor is it a skill that most parents or educators encourage children to practice as they’re learning to navigate the nuances of communication and relationships. Yet, how can we expect to think critically and make the best-informed decisions if we don't really know how to listen?
While listening is often viewed as something that just naturally occurs through the simple act of hearing spoken words, in reality there is nothing simple about good listening. It’s an acquired skill that requires daily practice and discipline, although well worth the time and effort because good listening helps us effectively examine, accept, or challenge the information we hear, thereby improving our decision-making. Equally important, active listening helps us better understand other positions, provides a path to finding common ground; builds trust, rapport, and connections in our communication with others; and increases our chance of being heard ourselves (Ury, 2015).
Listening is a fluid process that involves five stages: receiving, understanding, remembering, evaluating, and responding (DeVito, 2000). Within all of these stages, there are internal and external factors that can either interfere with or enhance good listening. The key is to engage in practices that reduce or eliminate disruptive factors and actively seek out situations and practice skills that advance good listening.
Good listening also encompasses behaviors that throughout these stages of listening convey interest and attention, such as eye contact, head-nodding, leaning toward the speaker, and encouraging facial expressions. However, good listeners aren't necessarily passive absorbers of information; some research suggests that the best listeners engage in the process by asking clarifying questions, restating what they've heard to make sure they're understanding it correctly, supportively suggesting alternative paths, and validating the speaker's feelings using supportive, nonjudgmental words and gestures (Zenger & Folkman, 2016).
At the same time, it's important to pack your patience and curb bad habits during these stages. For instance, most of us have been taught throughout our lives to hear and then immediately respond to what we heard. Therefore, it's common for listeners to begin preparing a response to what they’re hearing while they’re hearing it, which means they’re not fully listening to what is being said or giving safe space to the person saying it. While this urge to comment early and often is difficult to suppress, with practice and patience, good listeners learn to do it. This not only helps the speaker feel heard and understood, it also provides the listener with the entire picture, which ultimately allows for better responses and decision-making in interpersonal and organizational relationships.
References
Bouchrika, I. (April 17, 2024). Communications Degree: Requirements & Career Prospects for 2024 | Research.com
DeVito, Joseph A. (2000). The elements of public speaking (7th ed.). New York, NY: Longman.
Hamilton, I. (July 3, 2023). Best Online Communications Degrees Of 2024 – Forbes Advisor.
Sinek, Simon. (Oct. 27, 2021). The Art of Listening. YouTube (Bing Videos).
Ury, William. (Jan. 7, 2015). The power of listening. TEDxSanDiego (Bing Videos).
Zenger, J. & Folkman, J. (2016). What Great Listeners Actually Do, Harvard Business Review. What Great Listeners Actually Do (hbr.org)
The Power and Impact of Good Listening
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28.04.2024
“Listening is not the act of hearing the words spoken; it is the art of understanding the meaning behind those words.” –Simon Sinek
Speaking is a critical life skill that we’re taught from birth. In fact, effective speaking and communication skills are so highly valued in our society that there are thousands of courses on the topic as well as myriad opportunities to earn degrees in communications, all the way up to a Ph.D., with a focus on critical thinking, public speaking, media, and writing skills to prepare students for careers in influential industries such as journalism, law, public relations, speechwriting, and all forms of administration (Bouchrika, 2024; Hamilton, 2023).
But what about the skill of listening? Where and when is that taught? The unfortunate answer is that listening, although arguably even more critical to effective and productive interpersonal, organizational, political, and global communication, is rarely taught. Absent possibly a few therapy-related graduate courses, you’ll be hard-pressed to find courses on the topic of listening, nor is it a skill that most parents or educators........
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