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Steven Stosny

Steven Stosny

Psychology Today

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Matching Feelings, Attitudes, and Values

When feelings, attitudes, and values go together, life is better.

03.05.2024 20

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Blame the Dynamic, Not Your Partner

We either control relationship dynamics, or they control us.

26.04.2024 30

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Agency and Structure Within Us and Around Us

We can't improve structure without improving the agency.

12.04.2024 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Relationship Value Guide for Couples Counseling and Self-Help

It’s hard to know what you want when focused on what you don’t want.

09.04.2024 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Love and Temperament

The way you experience love depends on what it feels like to be you.

05.04.2024 20

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Feeling Love in Loving Relationships

Overemphasis on the former can ruin the latter.

02.04.2024 20

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Is Your Partner Selfish?

Believe it or not, we can make our partners less selfish.

26.03.2024 20

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Compassionate Assertiveness and Behavior Change in Love

Do you try to negotiate, persuade, manipulate, or coerce?

12.03.2024 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

After Couples Therapy

You don’t have to go back to square one.

09.03.2024 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Self-Interest and Humane Values

Choosing to act on just one or the other fails in the long run.

05.03.2024 20

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

The Self-Value in Kindness

To like yourself better, be kind.

02.03.2024 40

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Principles of Hope and Meaning

Just understanding them increases hope and meaning.

23.02.2024 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

The Link Between Meaning, Purpose, and Burnout

Without meaning and purpose, burnout is inevitable—at work or in relationships.

16.02.2024 20

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Well-Being in the Autopilot Brain

When we have to reflect on well-being, it’s sometimes too little, too late.

06.02.2024 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Self-Deception Can Drive Us Crazy

Fooling ourselves is easy but costly.

30.01.2024 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Emotional Pain: Imprisonment or Transcendence?

Humans did not evolve an internal punishment system.

17.01.2024 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

The Bright Side of Mistakes

The path to success is lined with many small mistakes and a few big ones.

12.01.2024 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

How to Prevent Anger Escalation

To put out the fire, we need to turn off the gas.

09.01.2024 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

The Madness of Labels

The use of labels in a complex, high-stress world furthers cultural divisions.

05.01.2024 20

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Why I Apologized to My Computer

The only way to change a bad habit is to replace it with a good one.

02.01.2024 40

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Authenticity, Commitment, and Connection

These must play in harmony for love to thrive.

19.12.2023 9

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Entitlement, Anger, and Emotion Reciprocity

These are linked emotions and interactive processes.

15.12.2023 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Discover Love Without Hurt

First, change the childhood echo, “It hurts when I try to love.”

12.12.2023 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

How to Widen Your Perspectives for a Better Future

Don’t fear a better life.

08.12.2023 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Own Your Mind Space

Evict all squatters.

05.12.2023 7

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Helping Children Cope

Coping doesn’t come easy for kids.

28.11.2023 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Resisting the Contagion of Hate

It’s as hard as it is necessary to maintain humane values amid torrents of hate.

21.11.2023 7

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

How to Turn Contempt Into Compassion

It’s not easy, but it will transform your relationship and your life.

17.11.2023 5

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Feelings About Facts and Facts About Feelings

Understanding the latter can illuminate the former in love and politics.

15.11.2023 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Escaping From the Prison of Self-Obsession

Use uncertainty as motivation to learn about yourself and the world.

11.11.2023 6

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

The Road to Family Abuse

We all walk it occasionally, though most don’t go far.

03.11.2023 20

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Fear of Abandonment in the Era of Social Media

Tenuous social contacts make us aware of a usually unconscious vulnerability.

31.10.2023 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Narratives That Heal, Narratives That Hurt

27.10.2023 8

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Response to Pain in Love and Politics

The habits we form in response to pain profoundly influence our lives.

24.10.2023 8

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Intentional vs. Tacit Behavioral Goals in Love

You’ll feel misunderstood if they don’t match.

20.10.2023 9

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Know What Makes You Valuable

Hope and value go together.

17.10.2023 20

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Feeling Each Other in Long-Term Relationships

A simple, biologically based process keeps us connected.

10.10.2023 20

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Autopilot Resentment

The threat of resentment isn’t just what you see.

03.10.2023 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Seeking Justice: Anger vs. Passionate Conviction

29.09.2023 20

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Feeling Angry vs. Suffering From Anger

Feeling anger takes a few minutes; justifying it takes a lifetime.

26.09.2023 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Treating PTS Symptoms After Intimate Betrayal

The brain’s penchant for forming conditioned responses can aid healing.

23.09.2023 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

Intimate Betrayal and Post-Traumatic Stress

It may be more physiological than psychological.

20.09.2023 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

After a Painful Relationship

Victim Identity won’t protect you.

12.09.2023 9

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

The Best Defense Against Toxic Relationships

Internalizing a sense of self-value protects you from dysfunctional partners.

09.09.2023 10

Psychology Today

Steven Stosny

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